Happy Homebirth

How do we go about decision-making in pregnancy and parenthood?  Do we float along on the wave of current culture, or is there possibly another way?

This week we’re speaking with Caitlyn Doerksen, a wife of almost seven years, a mom of 3 kids, who is passionate about all things surrounding the home. Home schooling, home birth, and a dream to one day soon home stead. She has such a beautiful way of looking at and interacting with her family, and I know you’re going to gain so much insight from this incredible episode.

1. It’s okay to do things differently from other families and to focus on works in your family’s culture.  Just because your aunt or mother in law or neighbor did things one way doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.  It’s not disrespectful to choose your own path.  I’m sure many of you resonate with that already– I mean, we’ve probably all had the experience of a little backlash to our birthing decisions, am I right?
2. Next, I loved the way Caitlyn truly tuned into her intuition.  She didn’t push the voice away, she leaned in and listened harder.  She had her husband pray over her and encourage her, and together they worked on honing in on their God-given parental intuitions.  We were designed to disciple our babies, and when we tune out the noise and tune into what is working for our family, I think we often times do know how to do that so beautifully well.  
3. And finally, let’s discuss the beautiful balance of Caitlyn’s births.  What did we learn?  Well, we learned that birth CAN be exactly what you want, pray for, ask for, envision, meditate upon… It can be.  There is so much power and excitement and thrill in that!  It happened for Caitlyn three times, despite difficult external circumstances with her most recent birth.  And now… on to the flip side.  Not everyone is going to experience this, and if your mind is SET on having a very specific experience that does not pan out that way, it can sometimes lead to disappointment or a fear that maybe you didn’t do something right, or you didn’t deserve a good birth or, or, or.  And just like Caitlyn so beautifully affirmed, that is straight up false.  I like to remind myself that every birth has a lesson for us.  Sometimes those lessons go down easy like a spoonful of honey, and others feel a bit more abrasive.  But, no matter the specific events our birth holds, please remember… we are the one who chooses how we get to integrate the experience.  We can choose what our birth means to us, and we can choose to approach birth with the knowledge that however it unfolds, there is beauty in it.  I hope that makes sense.  Every mother, every baby, every labor are different.  But whatever our labor brings us, we can take those lessons and apply them to our lives, to our motherhood, to grow and stretch us in the most beautiful ways.

When you’re unable to have a homebirth in your area, what happens?  Are you totally out of luck…. Or are there other ways to get creative?

This week we’re speaking with my friend Shanies Pearcey- a stay at home mother to 8 children and minister’s wife in Northwest NJ. Shanise enjoys cooking, sewing, and spending time with her precious kids, and I can tell you right now you are going to gain SO MUCH from this interview, as we unpack her journey to a homebirth… across the country from her own home. Get ready for a beautiful, uplifting story.

Episode Roundup

1. Question everything, unfortunately.  Shanise was told with her twins that her hips were “too small” for a 5 pound baby– and yet, she was able to give birth to an 8 pound baby just fine later on.  Another example of this could be seen when her OB told her that if she wanted to give birth without an epidural, they should totally break her water.  It’s so unfortunate when we hear these examples of care providers looking out for themselves and not for their patients.
2. If you find yourself in a situation that seems unfavorable, like Shanise did with her 8th pregnancy and upcoming labor, keep your mind open to other ideas.  It could have been so easy for Shanise and her husband to dismiss the idea of traveling to Texas for a homebirth, but look at what they would have missed if they’d ignored the idea– and consider the hostility that so many women were facing in hospitals in that area at the time.  What a beautiful experience Shanise’s family had– all because they were open to ideas outside of the norm.
3. And finally, how incredible are our bodies.  The way that Shanise’s body gave her an opportunity to process her fears and anxieties by stopping labor– that was so beautiful to me.  She was able to reach out to a friend, who, by the way owns a beautiful merino wool shop called Truly Charis, for all of the cloth diapering mamas out there, be sure to look her up– and process the feelings and emotions that were welling up inside of her.  And once she did that– her body knew that it was now safe to give birth.  What a blessing that entire experience was.  As we wrap up this amazing episode, I can’t help but share Philippians 4: 4-9

When you’re pregnant and not feeling well, what’s your first line of defense?  Have you ever felt the need to turn to pharmaceutical medications quickly, feeling like there aren’t any other good options?

This week, we’re speaking with Jenna Dodge.  Jenna Dodge is a Mother of four children ages 3-11. She lives in Bozeman, Montana with her children, husband, and two dogs. She owns a homeopathy practice serving clients anywhere in the world via Telehealth (www.ProjectHomeopathy.com) and teaches Homeopathy online courses at www.jennadodge.com. When she's not working with clients or teaching homeopathy, you can find her spending time with her family, lifting weights in her home gym, baking sourdough bread, or playing the piano.  

Jenna is actually my homeopath, and I was so excited to find out that she was a homebirth mother herself.  So today we’ll be taking our time going through her birth stories, as well as a thorough rundown of homeopathy and how you can use it as an empowering tool for your family.  

Episode Roundup:

1.  It just hit me as I was speaking to Jenna about the way that… when we tense our body up during labor by putting pressure on ourselves to look a certain way, or to not gain a certain amount of weight, or whatever the case may be… it’s just like the action of tensing and tightening during contractions.  No, pregnancy isn’t an excuse to overindulge, but it’s a perfectly good reason to relax and release the preconceived notions of what your body SHOULD be like and SHOULD do.  Relax into this process and be gentle and graceful with yourself.
2. And lastly, I just want to encourage you to look into homeopathy.  It’s been a huge blessing to my family over the years, but especially now that I’m actually working with a certified homeopath.  Jenna’s been able to help me unwind so much disease and distress that’s been going on in my body for years, so I highly recommend checking out all of her information, which is linked below in the show notes.  Alright, my friends, I hope you’re feeling excited and empowered!  That’s all I’ve got for you for today.  I’ll see you back here next week!

1. I find it worth noting that Vicki and her husband were very attuned to the personalities of the potential midwives they were working with-- despite the often times quick opportunities that they had to talk to them beforehand--It seems there was an understanding that for them, having a care provider who didn't fit what they needed could actually be more uncomfortable or dangerous than birthing unassisted
2. Vicki is a testimony to the fact that the body will give birth when it's ready to give birth, but it also does sometimes seem to hold off for just enough time. In both of her first two births, she at some point recognized that it was TIME to settle down, and luckily she had JUST enough time to do just that. Was she cutting it that close, or was her body actually waiting for her to get settled, darn it? Either way, she was able to get settled just in time on both occasions!
3. And finally, and I think you will all agree with me on this one, I hereby give Vicki the Happy Homebirth superlative of most unusual string of birth stories. What a truly impressive honor that is in this incredible group of interesting birthers, isn't it?

I want to give birth physiologically and at home… but what if it’s painful?

Today we’re going to take a few minutes to discuss the very common, very understandable fear of pain when it comes to giving birth at home….without medication.

We'll be discussing this from several perspectives today/using several guiding questions:

1. What makes you think it will be painful?

2. What can we do to mitigate the potential for pain? 

3. So what?  What if it is painful?  

And throughout we'll include a number of tips for coping with discomfort during labor.

Resources

Happy Homebirth Academy

Essentials Homebirth Guide (free)

When you describe your labor and birth, what words come to mind?  Difficult? Intense? Powerful?  What about…. Euphoric? 

Today we’re going to be talking to my friend Rose, of Rose Uncharted– Rose is a wife and mother of 3 children born at home. She began cultivating an online presence on instagram by sharing her unconventional lifestyle choices and ideas, and by pushing back against the societal norms of how we should live and raise our babies in this modern age. Her signature message has been to encourage women to tune back into their simple innate God given intuition and to take their bodies and their health into their own hands.   She’ll be sharing her 3 homebirth stories, and I can pretty much guarantee that there will be chills or tears by the time we finish this episode, specifically around that very idea of a euphoric birth.  

Episode Roundup

1. We’ve got to start asking midwives the right questions from the very beginning.  Every midwife deserves to operate her practice how she sees fit, just like every mother deserves to find a care provider who is comfortable with her desires.  Not every mother and midwife are going to make a perfect pair, and that’s not a bad thing.  Not every man and every woman make a perfect pair either– it’s all about having discernment, asking the right questions before signing any paperwork, and then working together as a team from there on out.  Yes I just compared midwifery and marriage and I’m just going to keep rolling.  Listen, like Rose said, we’ve got to find alignment.  If at all possible, we’ve got to find that midwife who you trust and who trusts you right back.  It makes a world of difference.  So many mothers ask me, “what questions do I need to ask?” And before giving out any specifics, I always like to say– you’ve got to figure out what you want first.  I may want very different things from my care provider than you do.  What do you want, what’s non-negotiable?  Figure it out for yourself before you even begin formulating a list of questions.  
2. Next, I loved Rose’s explanation of labor waves.  Sometimes you may find yourself riding the crest, and other times you’ve got to go limp in the undertow for a bit.  Relaxation is the way through, as Rose described having her husband Isaac hold her body weight as she went completely limp through the heavy surges.
3. And finally, labor can be euphoric.  Not just the moment that our baby enters the world, though that certainly is part of it– but the entire experience can be exactly what we’ve prayed for, just like it was for Rose.  It’s one of the reasons that we talk about envisioning your birth so much throughout happy homebirth academy– it’s so wonderful to spend our time thinking of good, beautiful things, and that is absolutely what our labor can be.  

Resources:

Happy Homebirth Academy

[free] Homebirth Essentials Resource

Rose's Website and Store

Kori Meloy

Full Monty Panel

Vitamin A for Increased Hemoglobin Meta-analysis

Midwives are great, but OB’s are definitely better when it comes to diagnostics and testing, right?

This week we’re speaking to Hannah White, a sweet, sentimental mama who switched to midwifery care later on in her second pregnancy.  And she was shocked to find out that her midwife was more thorough in keeping up with her health than even her obstetrician.

Episode Roundup:

1. I just love the historicity of Hannah’s story.  She was able to give birth on family land, in the home that she grew up in, and the same land where her Grandfather was born.  What a full-circle experience. 
2. Where we are and who we’re with during labor matters.  Just ask Hannah’s bag of waters— This little tidbit Hannah gave shows just how much our subconscious mind can impact labor.  Her body was quite literally holding on until her midwife arrived.  And as soon as her midwife got there, as soon as Hannah felt safe, she released and so did her waters.
3. Finally, let’s end at the beginning.  Midwives are great, but OB’s are definitely better when it comes to diagnostics and testing, right?  It comes as a surprise to many that midwives do indeed perform the same routine testing that one would receive with an OB… though sometimes even more effectively.  When her midwife put together that Hannah had PCOS, she realized that her blood sugar could be affected, so she had her check her blood sugar directly instead of relying on the GD glucola results alone.  And what a wonderful difference that made for Hannah’s health and pregnancy.

Resources

Free Homebirth Essentials Guide

Happy Homebirth Academy- Join Today!

Let’s say you’ve decided that you want a homebirth…but….you’re feeling some uncertainty. 

Maybe you’ve heard stories from other moms who wanted the very same, but then their births took another direction, and they didn’t end up with the intimate birth at home that they’d envisioned.  How do we come to terms with this possibility, yet not expect negative outcomes?  Several weeks ago, one of our community members, Danielle, shared her story of planning a homebirth, but having to make the difficult decision to transport to the hospital during labor, and eventually making the even more difficult decision to have a cesarean section.  After such a moving, emotional, and deeply connecting episode – one that truly seemed to touch something in the mothers who experienced similar stories, and the ones who have not alike….I wanted to continue exploring this idea of the hospital transport. I want to take a look at another side of transporting, in a way– another angle to view it from.  How can we hear a story like Danielle’s or any other mom who planned for homebirth and ended up needing or wanting to transport— how can we listen to that, but not fear our birth or fear the possibility of transport?  I love that we’re able to look at birth through so many contexts and lenses.  That we can take personal experiences, mindset exercises and pure old statistics and blend them into a comprehensive, comforting inspection of homebirth and the likelihood of transporting.

So with that in mind, today I want to go through some practical thoughts, tips and reminders regarding homebirth and hospital transport, and the relationship between the two.  As always, this is not medical advice, this show is an educational tool, so continue to make empowered decisions for yourself and your family.

We will:

Discuss the most common reasons for transport, and several ways to help discourage their necessity

Share some internal and external pain relief techniques

Discuss how we control the narrative and the perspective-- no matter where we give birth

Resources:

Join Happy Homebirth Academy

First births are always long and hard.  Period.  Right?  Or….

This week we’re speaking with Kelsea, a precious mama of two, who surprised herself and her birth team with her first labor.  We’ll dig into both of her beautiful experiences.

Episode Roundup

1. When Kelsea broke the news that she was having a homebirth to her OB, her OB said, “we always see unsuccessful homebirth attempts.”  Well, duh, doctor.  You certainly don’t see the successful ones… they’re…. Not at the hospital.  I just want to use this as a reminder to you.  If you’re receiving dual care, your OB likely doesn’t have any experience with successful homebirths.  He or she likely has no idea how many home births are happening successfully in their very own city all the time.  So be sure to take their perspective with a grain, of salt.
2. Kelsea’s explanation of Fetal Ejection Reflex with both of her births was just so perfect.  She recollects to how her body just forcefully pushed on it’s own.  She couldn’t stop the pushing.  Instead, she could focus on concentrating and on her breathing.  Remember this.  Your body knows how to push.  It’ll let you know when it’s time to do that.  You can focus on the breathing and let those amazingly powerful muscles do their thing.
3. And finally, remember that you may need to ask for help postpartum.  There’s absolutely zero shame in the struggle.  Whether it’s your first or fifth child, the transition and addition of a new member to the family, along with the recalibration of your hormones, may lead to some feelings of stress or depression.  Please reach out.  Share this with your family, share it with your midwife- make sure that you’re getting the love and care that you need.

Resources:

Happy Homebirth Academy

The Homebirth Collective- Waitlist

Free Homebirth Essentials Checklist

Let’s say you’re a birth expert- you’ve been working with pregnant mothers for years, and you’re finally having the homebirth of your dreams.  Is firm education enough, or will there possibly be unexpected tests in the emotional and mental aspects of birth?

This week we’re speaking with the marvelous Dr. Courtney Kahla.  Dr. Courtney is a nervous system centered chiropractor specializing in families. She is the owner of Our Well House: a multidisciplinary wellness center in Dallas, TX. Her mission is to encourage others to experience freedom in their physical, mental, and spiritual health. She is passionate about empowering others to take control of their health by living a lifestyle that honors their God-given innate ability to heal.

We’re going to spend part of this episode discussing chiropractic care, and then the rest diving deep into Dr. Courtney’s own homebirth journey.  And wow, you’re in for so much wisdom sprinkled throughout her story.

One theme we discuss in Dr. Kahla’s story is the need for emotional and mental preparation when it comes to homebirth, beyond the basics of childbirth education.  With that in mind, I want to invite you to join me as you prepare for your own empowering homebirth experience.  Let’s use the unbelievably transformative time of pregnancy as a catalyst into the most incredible motherhood journey.  How?  Join me inside of Happy Homebirth Academy, where preparing for your homebirth is both thorough and joyful.  Learn to comfortably step into your role as the responsible, intuitive mother that you are, and hone those lifelong skills while we educate you on all aspects of midwifery care, physiological birth, and preparing your heart and home.  We cover the physical, yes, but we also go deep into the importance of emotional and mental preparation, all while inviting your spouse to be deeply involved and connected from pregnancy, through labor and on into the blissful postpartum period.  You ready to transform?  Head to myhappyhomebirth.com/hha to get started today.

As always, please remember that the opinions of my guest may not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and this show is not medical advice, it’s an educational tool, so continue to take empowered responsibility for yourself and your family.

Episode Roundup:

1. I loved the way that Dr. Courtney approached the selection of her care provider.  Yes, there were a number of providers in her area that she liked and trusted, but she knew that she needed someone who was going to be comfortable with the informed decisions she was planning to make during her pregnancy and labor.  She knew the right questions to ask.  “What would cause me to risk out of care with you?  What procedures would you be uncomfortable with me declining?”  Knowing what you want in a care provider before you walk in for the interview makes this so much easier.  Make sure you check out episodes 157 and 159 if you’re looking for more specific help in this area.  I’ll link those below.
2. I really appreciate the discussion of how vulnerable we are to ideas in labor.  Dr. Kahla knew she wanted to fully listen to her body, but when her midwife gave her the very loving tip of giving a few pushes if she wanted— Dr. Courtney did, even though outside of labor she had adamantly wanted to experience Fetal Ejection Reflex on her own.  Listen, midwives are human and like Dr. Courtney said, this was totally well-intentioned.  But it does go to show us that nobody outside of your body can feel what’s going on inside of your body as well as you can— This is a great lesson for all of us to learn from.  If your midwife gives you advice, it can be really easy to just go along with it— of course—we trust them— but remember to trust yourself, too.  Listen to the advice, but then try to take a moment before you accept it just because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do.
3. And finally, wow.  Labor can be so, so mental.  Dr. Courtney, the mother that her midwife said she had ZERO worries about desiring to transfer because of her endurance and grit, got to a vulnerable place where she needed her team’s support and reminder that she could, in fact, do this thing.  And do it, she did. 

Resources:

Happy Homebirth Academy

Episode: Communicating With Your Birth Team About Expectations and Desires

Episode: When Your Midwife Choices are Limited

Free Homebirth Essentials Clickable List

Waitlist for The Homebirth Collective

Dr. Courtney's Instagram

Dr. Courtney's website