Happy Homebirth

When things go unexpectedly during your first birth, how do you plan for a second birth with the hope and expectation that they'll go better?

This week, we are speaking with Michelle Varela. Michelle is one of those rare and amazing women who knew that she wanted to give birth at home from a very young age. So when her first birth took an unexpected turn, it was confusing and disappointing, and there were certainly questions as to how things would be handled next time.

Episode Roundup:

The importance of our care providers. They make a huge difference. How things unfold does depend greatly on that.

But the second thing that's on my mind is just how incredible the body is, how beautifully designed it was and is, how beautifully designed it is to heal itself. While Michelle struggled with a 4th degree tear during her 1st birthing experience, she did not let that come in her way in terms of her second birth experience, and thank goodness that she didn't even know that other people might say, oh, that's too dangerous. She just did what she knew was best for her body, and what ended up happening was a beautiful birth with zero tearing. 

Our bodies are so incredible. They're so incredible at healing. They're so resilient. So if you have found yourself in a place where you've given birth before and it didn't go the way that you wanted, desired, expected, or planned, Know this. Your body is resilient.

Your mind is resilient. Your heart is resilient, and next time it can be different just like it was for Michelle.

Last thing before I jump off, I did wanna share that Michelle's husband actually works with mothers postpartum. He helps with things like diastasis recti, pelvic floor dysfunction, and just overall achieving of physical goals.

Instagram: @codylanecollins 

We want a healthy baby and a healthy mama, right? But is it okay to ask for more than that? What if we have specific ideas and hopes and dreams for our birth? Is it okay to pray about that? Is it okay to ask the Lord for more?

This week, we are speaking to my friend Rachel Petersen. Now Rachel did just that. She had desires and she let the Lord know about them. So we're going to learn what that looked like and see how it unfolded for her in her birth experience.

Now, just a little bit more information on Rachel. She is certified through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and the Herbal Academy. She specializes in women's hormones, cycle sinking, fertility, the fertility awareness method and prenatal and postpartum nutrition. So she's somebody that you're going to want to check out. She's on Instagram @nourish.thegood

Episode Roundup:

The first one being that Rachel shows us how it's okay to make your requests known to God. In fact, he tells us to, specifically, make your requests known to God and he will answer. Now, does it always look like the answer that Rachel received?

No, not necessarily. However, he does work all things for good. So even when the outcomes don't look the way we had expected, even when they look completely different from how we expected them to look, we know that we have a loving father who does care for us and, like Rachel said, He is aware of us.

He sees us. So whether your birth turns out as spectacularly as Rachel's does, or whether it turns out differently than expected, let God be big in it. Look for Him, He's there. Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us, He is there. So let's look back and see, where was He? Where was He in my experience?

2024 Trainings

Greenville, SC

Gillespie Approach-Craniosacral Fascial Therapy

Previous Episode:

Ep 175: The Gillespie Approach: How Craniosacral Fascial Therapy Can Optimize Health for Your Infant

Birthworker.com/happyhomebirth

Previous Episodes with Kyleight:

Ep 98: Kyleigh’s Out-of-the-Box Homebirth Preparation

Ep 258: How To Turn Your Passion For Birth Into A Full-time Career As A Doula with Kyleigh Banks

1. You're not high risk until you're high risk- Jan's midwife said this, and I find it such a beautiful way to approach each pregnancy individually. She wasn't focusing on the past, but looking at Jan and her pregnancy NOW. Instead of forcing fear and uncertainty onto her client, she trusted her abilities as a care provider, yes, but more importantly-- she trusted Jan's ability to give birth.
2. Your mindset plays such a role in your birth. As we shared, in the past, Jan's doctors pathologized her pregnancy and birth up and down, and Jan accepted what they had to say. Because of this, she saw herself as high risk- as a disaster waiting to happen. This totally changed for her fourth birth, when she realized that she was designed to give birth. She changed her mindset and recognized that her body and her baby were not pathologies. She was able to approach this pregnancy and birth with excited anticipation, along with the knowledge that she could and would do things differently.
3. Let's end with this-- it can be different this time. Maybe you've had a cesarean or several, maybe you've had preeclampsia or gestational diabetes or any number of "pathologies" in the past. Remember that this experience doesn't have to be the same as last time. Give yourself space to imagine something different. Visualize it, feel it. Find support who feels it, too. Of course, consider your own risk tolerance, but know that however events do unfold, you can experience your birth from a perspective of being the authority.

1. As Errika's story demonstrated, it is possible to have a positive birth experience in the hospital, if that’s the option you feel you need this time around, keep this at front of mind, as it can be extremely encouraging to hear those positive examples.
2. Errika acknowledges that yes, her body was made for birthing, but it was her mind that made the difference between her two experiences. Errika had a much better understanding of what her body was doing in labor, and she visualized it all, even talking to her body during contractions. Errika feels that's what really made the second experience smoother and quicker.
3. And finally, you don't have to learn every single possible coping technique. In fact, having just a few specific strategies planned to use during the birth can help, so that you know exactly how to prepare and focus.

1. Imagination. Many of you know that I view the world through a biblical lens, and something that's been on my mind for the last few months, and that relates in such a special way to this episode, is the idea of the imagination. Just like Coco shared how she took time to deeply envision her birth experience, and so much of it happened in the way that she'd put thought to. Lately, I've been reflecting on how The Lord uses our imagination for our good and His glory. We were given this ability to imagine-- to see things in our mind-- and it is such a gift. We're called to renew our minds and spirits and to think on whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—using our imagination to renew the mind and think on these things in our day to day life is the stuff of miracles. Use your imagination! Think on your pure, excellent, praiseworthy birth, mama.
2. Next, I want to focus on how, between her first pregnancy and birth and her most recent, Coco learned to lean into her intuition and to truly listen to it. This is what led her to choose to give birth in her own home, and to choose a midwife who truly embodied what that word is supposed to mean-- someone who trusts, believes in physiological birth, and who is there to wisely step in when the time is right. As Coco told this part of the birth story, I pictured these three women, with Coco as the spearhead, along with her two midwives flanking either side. Supporting her, keeping her safe, but always recognizing Coco's lead. That's what this relationship is all about.
3. And finally, a word on integration. Coco's journey from first pregnancy through her most recent birth has been full of ups and downs. Triumph and troubles. And labor is a microcosm of this very experience. I loved her labor depiction. "I am an ocean." Oceans are many things. Mighty, flowing, majestic, serene, cataclysmic, and tranquil. What a wonderful analogy for the process of integration. Taking all of the aspects of her journey thus far-- breaking them down and then building them back up together. Letting it all wash over her in waves. And like waves, the integration of an experience ebbs and flows. It's not all at once. But this ability to take our experience and pull it into our being-- absorbing the meaning and allowing it to transform us-- that is an abundant gift to ourselves and our families alike.

1. Brianna experienced the intensity of labor with her first birth, as her epidural migrated and failed. Because she had expected to HAVE the epidural to cope, she struggled through her active labor and transition. However, what I find amazing is that when she gave birth at home, pain was a non-issue. Simply having coping skills available to her and knowing how to let her body do the work allowed her to experience a FUN, joyful birthing experience.
2. I also loved the way that Brianna invited her daughter, Ella in to her birth experience with her second baby. Ella was able to come in and see her mother give birth to her new baby sister. Brianna mentioned that she hopes her daughter will remember this experience, and I agree. I want to encourage those of you who have young children at your births to remember to tell them the story! Turn it into family lore! My daughter tells me little details about the time that she watched me give birth to her baby sister. "Remember when I tried to get in the pool," she'll say. Now, whether or not she actually fully remembers the event itself or the retelling and retelling of it-- does it really matter? In her mind, it's solidified as a beautiful, joyous strong experience. We have the ability to use storytelling to help our children understand the beauty of birth, whether they fully remember or not. Honestly, whether they're even present or not!

1. Our communities are no longer designed in a way that is supportive to childrearing as a whole, truly. We're extremely silo'd and so unbelievably busy. On top of this, mothers are inundated with the message that they can have it all and they can do it all. They can lose the baby weight, sleep all night, work all day and come home and take care of their home and babies with love and compassion. This just isn't realistic. When we realize that we've been fed a lie, we can slowly begin to untangle ourselves from it, step by step. One of the best first steps that we may be able to make is reconsidering how we view infant sleep, as Taylor shared.
2. The lack of safety in sleeping with our babies comes with not being provided information on how to do it. There is, however, information out there to help you respond to your baby's nighttime needs, while also supporting your ability to get more rest, too. Taylor is doing a phenomenal job of sharing this information.
3. And finally, let's remember that we are our child's regulator. We get to be our child's regulator-- their safe, snuggly, trusted space. If we can approach this with the perspective that this not a curse, but a gift-- we can enjoy these young years, acknowledge that there will sometimes be struggle... there will sometimes be difficulty, give ourselves and our babies grace.