Happy Homebirth

How do you make strong, powerful decisions…and stand by them?

 

Dr. Kayla and her husband Anthony, before even beginning to try to conceive, felt they had been called to have a freebirth or unassisted childbirth.  Of course, this group is a tiny percent within the tiny percent of moms who give birth at home within the tiny percent of moms who give birth out of hospital.  So… about as niche as you can get. 

Yet even though it was their first birth, they felt strongly about their decision and knew it was what they were meant to do.  Listen in to hear how they approached both their wild pregnancy and wild birth.

 

Show Notes

• After having a vision of a spirit baby, Dr. Kayla felt called to look into unassisted birth, which she’d never even heard of before.
• She decided to have an unassisted pregnancy and birth, or wild birth.
• She and her husband were very strong in their decision and made clear boundaries for those around them
• She enjoyed speaking to several peers about her decision to have a freebirth. She felt that she was able to learn from them, and they were able to understand the importance of connection from her.
• Her labor was rather short, though she was very active through it (squatting and walking around the entire time)
• She timed her contractions originally by singing a song and seeing how long they took—I love this idea!
• Although they had no care providers, they did hire a birth photographer.
• Her husband was an incredible support- he always seemed to know what she needed right before she needed it
• At one point she went into the bathroom alone to cry and pray. She came out feeling a surge of adrenaline.
• Soon she realized she had a cervical lip, so after asking a friend what to do, he husband pulled her belly towards her chin for one contraction. This did the trick.
• She then went into the bathroom again with her husband this time. They cried, he prayed over her, then they laughed together.  When she came out, another surge of adrenaline.
• She tried pushing once, but it felt wrong. She decided to wait…. But immediately she felt the fetal ejection reflex and baby’s head emerged while she was in a deep squat.  Her husband caught the baby as he was falling back somewhat into the fireplace. 
• Kayla was in such a euphoric state that she had an out of body experience.
• She mentions that she’s never felt so incredible in all of her life.

 

Connect with Dr. Kayla!

Loveandlightfamilychiropractic.com

drkaylaabeid@loveandlightfamilychiropractic.com

www.freebirthsociety.com

 

Episode Roundup:

So many takeways from this episode.  It was such a deep, sweet story, and I love hearing Kayla share her heart.  She gave me chills with her sweet connection to her husband and baby.

The biggest takeaway from this episode for me? 

 

Dr. Kayla took her decision to have a wild pregnancy and wild birth seriously.  She wasn’t just leaving things up to chance—she did much preparation both mentally, physically and spiritually.  She was involved with a group of other women who had chosen the same style of birth as her, and she continued her education and connection with these women as well.

 

I love women who take full responsibility of their birthing decisions.  No matter what those decisions are—be it a hospital, a home, with a room full of people or all alone… stepping into motherhood in an empowered way will change our world. 

 

Mentioned:

Give Birth on Your Turf Tee

Homebirth Candles

The Dope Doula

I’ve got a secret for you.  Your uterus is unaware of the 5-1-1 rule.   

 

This week’s episode features the birth stories of Heather, who has given birth to both of her babies at home.  Her first experience of labor was with a posterior baby, and posterior babies are notorious for funky labor patterns.

 

Her second baby, though not posterior, also gave quite a different pattern. 

 

I love these stories because they show the reality of labor:  It’s different for everyone, and it’s different for every birth.  So while tips and rules are great to keep in mind, we must remember that our uterus doesn’t know these tips, and it may very well do its own thing.  We’ve just got to follow its lead.

 

Also.  For inquiring minds—the 5-1-1 rule is a common one given to first time moms:  Call the midwife when contractions are five minutes apart, lasting a minute for one hour.  And generally, this can be handy!  But let’s not forget—we’ve got to be in tune with our bodies.

Show Notes:

• Heather knew she wanted to have her babies at home after several of her church friends had homebirths
• Financially, she and her husband realized homebirth would be the cheaper option, and Heather has never been comfortable with the hospital seting
• She mentions that her first pregnancy was easy, though she did go past her due date. Fortunately, her midwife had drilled in her head that most first time moms go to 41.1 weeks.
• Her first baby was posterior, which made for quite a wonky labor pattern. At one point, Heather’s midwife put her in a position she called the “Texas Roll” or exaggerated sims position.  One leg straight, the other leg up at a 90 degree angle and belly diagonally on the bed.  This helped her finish dilating.
• Heather pushed for 2 hours with her first baby and did have a 2^nd degree tear. However, after measuring baby’s head, her midwife informed her that she had a 15inch head… pretty big! 
• Between her first and second birth, Heather’s midwife retired. Instead of hiring her midwife’s apprentice (who was now a working midwife), she decided to go with another midwife in town, who was also a naturopath.  This was difficult for Heather, as she liked the other midwife, but she felt she’d be more comfortable with her new care provider.
• The night before giving birth, Heather was having contractions every 30 minutes apart. She found this amount of time to be quite annoying—as soon as she’d start to fall asleep, the contractions would wake her back up.
• This continued all day the next day. Even the next evening, they were still 30 minutes apart, but suddenly they were very strong when she had them. 
• Heather’s midwife told her this had happened to her before, and not to worry. Her body would flip a switch and labor would likely go quickly.
• She was right! All in all, Heather’s labor (from the time of the strong contraction) was 3.5 hours.

 

Episode Roundup

1. I found it fascinating that Heather mentioned at the beginning of the episode that truly, when they prepared to give birth to their first baby, they recognized that homebirth was a less expensive option for them. People are often shocked to find out just how affordable this option is.
2. Heather’s first midwife’s reminder is one of my very favorites: Most first time moms usually make it to 41.1.  We psyche ourselves up for the “due date” and can often feel frustrated when it comes and goes.  It’s so important to remember just how arbitrary that day really is.
3. Finally, in my opinion, the most important piece to draw from Heather’s story: You’ve got to select a midwife that you jive well with.  Not every person is going to be comfortable with every midwife—this in no way means the midwife is not a good midwife.  It just means you’ve got to find the personality that aligns best with you and your family.  Be sure to check around and see what options you have in your area.  Of course, some areas truly don’t have many options.  But when it’s possible, interview a number of practices.

 

Beautiful One Midwifery

 

“But what if something goes wrong?” Perhaps the most often question asked when a homebirth mother reveals her plans to her loved ones.  Sure, having a homebirth sounds like a good idea if everything goes right—but when it doesn’t?  What then?

Today’s episode is going to cover this topic and several more with two incredible midwives.  Tiffany and Kelly are the midwifery partners behind Beautiful One Midwifery, and their perspective is so useful.  I am so happy to offer this episode as a resource for you, mama who is considering homebirth, and for your loved ones who would like to know more about what happens when things “go sideways”.  Such an amazing listen. 

 

Please remember that the opinions of my guest may not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and although Kelly and Tiffany are midwives, none of us are acting as your overseeing medical provider, so please be sure to continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if you’re like me, your chiropractor.

 

 

Show Notes:

• Tiffany and Kelly were both doulas before becoming midwives. They knew of each other for quite a while before realizing how similar their styles were.
• Both decided to go to midwifery school. Upon completion of their programs, they decided to open a practice together.  Both were interested in a sustainable practice.
• Today’s topic: What if something goes wrong?
• Acknowledge that there are risks when having a baby- no matter where you give birth.
• 3 major complications: shoulder dystocia, hemorrhage, and need for neonatal resuscitation
• Kelly mentions that in truth, midwives are actually there for these specific events, not so much the easy peasy labors. Midwives are for when things “go a little sideways”
• They discuss how baby is always telling us a story, we just have to pay attention to what is being said. Typically if something is off, little issues here and there will begin to “ping”
• Tiffany and Kelly always prepare their clients for the 3 common complications prenatally. In fact, they bring their supplies (oxygen masks, tanks, etc) to the home visit to let parents see what is involved so that they are not taken by surprise if it’s needed during birth
• Neonatal resuscitation:
  • About 1 in 10 babies will require at least a little extra help
  • A few helpful breaths

 

• Postpartum Hemorrhage:
  • They emphasize nutrition prenatally (calcium supplement)
  • Discuss how there are a number of reasons for too much bleeding, but there are many ways to help stop it
  • Hands outside, hands inside, herbs, and Pitocin/other prescribed medications
  • A great way to prevent pph is a hands-off delivery of the placenta. Allowing mom to do this on her own.

 

• Shoulder Dystocia:
  • A great idea is to ask your midwife what she typically does in the event of a shoulder dystocia
• Beautiful One Midwifery puts a strong emphasis on postpartum care. They have extended postpartum care packages that they offer not only their clients, but their community as a whole.  I hope to see this become the norm!

 

Learn about midwifery in your state: https://mana.org/about-midwives/state-by-state 

 

Episode Roundup:

1. We often forget that no matter where we give birth, risk is involved. There’s no guarantee that any birth will have a specific outcome—whether at home or in the hospital
2. The midwives model of care is amazing for catching red flags and signs of concern because care is so hands-on prenatally. This allows a true understanding of both mother and baby, so when it’s time to make a change, a change can be made safely
3. Neonatal Resuscitation, Postpartum Hemorhhage and Shoulder Dystocia are the most common concerns, yet for all 3, midwives take specific measures to bring the situation back into the realm of normal and safe. As Tiffany said, “Everybody doesn’t just die”
4. I want this episode to serve as a reminder- talk to your care provider! Ask them what it is that they do when complications arise so that you can feel confident.  Ask them if they will show you the equipment so you’re comfortable with it beforehand.  I love this idea.
5. Finally, extending postpartum care is such an amazing idea. I love that this is so front and center in their practice and care… I pray it catches on everywhere!

 

Keep up with Tiffany and Kelly!

 

Instagram: instagram.com/beautifuleonemidwifery

E-mail: hello@beautifulonemidwifery.com

 

 

In a culture where we are taught to trust our doctors, what happens when that trust comes into question?  Where do you turn, and what do you do? 

In this week’s episode, we’ll be hearing from Casey, a mother of 4.  8 years ago when she had her first baby, her faith was comfortable in the typical medical model.  After a physically traumatic first birth and a highly encouraged scheduled c-section with her second, Casey began wondering if there was a better way.

Join me as we hear the way that Casey, who’s experienced 4 very different types of births, navigated her decision-making and eventually succeeded in having a triumphant birthing experience at home.

 

Show Notes:

• Casey’s 1^st birth (8 years ago) was a 20 hour labor. She hoped for a natural birth, but did not research or prepare before birth.  Once she arrived to the hospital, she quickly received an epidural
• She pushed for 2.5 hours with her first baby and the doctor eventually used forceps, which led to a 4^th degree tear.
• Because of her previous tear, with her second child, her OB recommended a scheduled cesarean.
• Trusting her doctor, Casey agreed. Her baby’s heart was not quite finished developing, so a NICU stay was required.  She did experience some postpartum depression after this birth.
• For her 3^rd birth, Casey wanted to take control. She prayed and asked her husband if they could interview midwives at a birth center.  Although he might have initially been uncertain with the idea, by the time they left the birth center, he was on board and excited for their care.
• She kept her 20 week appoint with her OB. He checked her scar and said it looked good.  She asked if she could try for a VBAC, he was not on board- this convinced them that the birth center was 100% the correct choice
• Casey pushed for 3 hours with her 3^rd The baby was not in an ideal position, which caused a struggle.  Eventually they recommended IV fluids, which helped tremendously.
• At one point, when she was struggling, her husband turned to her and said, “There are so many people praying for you.” This helped motivate Casey to continue.
• Finally, her baby emerged, half en caul, which her midwives believe helped prevent tearing. She had a slight skid, but the midwives assured her she did not need any stitches.  To think- her OB recommended abdominal surgery, yet she didn’t even tear!
• Their 4^th baby was a surprise. When she contacted the midwives to let them know of her pregnancy, they were so excited.  Casey was, too.  She discussed how going to midwifery appointments was like going to talk to a friend.
• She decided to have a homebirth with her midwives this time.
• At 38 weeks, Casey went to see a chiropractor. She got two adjustments between that time and her baby’s birth, and she feels it helped tremendously.
• She also hired a doula, which she felt would have been very helpful during her long pushing phase of her 3^rd
• The night of her baby’s birth, she had her husband getting the house set up: birth pool, water, oils, music. She decided to get in the water.  As soon as she did, she had back to back intense contractions.  The midwives were on the way, but lived an hour away.
• She felt far more in control during this time. Suddenly she had 2 more contractions, and then a break.  She began to wonder if this was the lull before pushing….. it was.
• She suddenly started pushing. After the contraction, her husband left the room to find service in the house and call the midwife. 
• Baby’s head began to emerge, so Casey called him back in. He reached down, supported baby’s head, then caught the rest of the body as it came out and placed him on Casey’s chest.
• Her midwives arrived about 20 minutes after.
• She mentioned the sweetness of her children getting to meet their sibling the next morning and how lovely the intimacy of homebirth can be.

 

Episode Roundup:

1. We cannot trust others to provide us with education. Unfortunately, this is the lesson that so many of us learn through negative experiences.  You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.  This is exactly why sharing our stories and experiences is so powerful.  Giving other mothers the tools and education they need before having to endure a preventable traumatic birth is the goal.  And of course, even more, giving mothers the tools to have an empowering, peaceful birth is the ultimate goal.
2. Chiropractic care- what a useful practice! Even with only 2 adjustments under her belt, Casey attributes much of the success and ease of her 4^th experience to being adjusted by a webster-certified chiropractor.  This can be so useful to so many.  When we compare the pushing phase of Casey’s 3^rd birth to her 4^th, it’s pretty clear that something was different and baby was in a better position.  Chiropractic care is a great way to help that process.
3. Finally, there is something so magical and intimate about homebirth. The fact that Casey and her husband were the only two present for the birth of their 4^th baby, the day before their anniversary, was such a magical experience.  Knowing that help was on the way was reassuring, too.  What a beautiful way to become parents again.  With strength and closeness—the two whose relationship is the foundation of the family—got to be the two privliged to witness the newest addition.

Homebirth is so special, my friends.  Although I never enjoy hearing the traumas and difficulties that lead moms to it, I am always so encourage when these same mothers get to experience the brilliance of at-home midwifery care.  And I’m so grateful for the mothers who are willing to share it all—from the difficult to the beautiful to act as a beacon for all of the other mothers and mothers-to-be.

When it comes to finding your way to your homebirth midwife, was this an easy or difficult path for you?

After 2 hospital births, Krista knew she was ready to take birth home.  The issue, however, was finding a care provider.  In Western PA, midwives are publicly prosecuted for attending homebirths.  CPMs and traditional midwives alike are underground.  Krista mentions she felt like she was calling a “black market midwife.” 

In this episode, we discuss it all.  From birth trauma to faulty legislation…but we end the way I pray all births do… victoriously.  Join me as we learn about Krista’s experience with 3 under 3.

 

Show Notes:

• Krista is a corporate lawyer and mother to 3 children, ages 3 and under.
• She discussed how ridiculous it is that these practices and hospitals expect mothers to sign away all of their rights and consent weeks before even being in labor, or even upon entrance to the hospital. How can you give informed consent when you don’t even know the situation yet?
• This is why she decided to switch to the care of midwives at 28 weeks.
• After her first birthing experience, which was quite traumatic (they threatened to vacuum baby out simply because she pushed for 2 hours, they whisked him away immediately to NICU and she didn’t see him for 4 hours), she knew she wanted to take back birth.
• Though Krista experienced birth trauma, she has managed to use it for good.
• With her second birth, her midwives switched hospitals (it would now be 70 minutes away)—much because the hospital they were at before’s poilcies were not good for midwifery clients.
• For this birth, her doula was at another labor, so her backup was called. However, after speaking with the backup and telling her all that was going, the backup ended up calling HER backup….
• Krista was so upset. Suddenly her mindset changed and she was now feeling the sensations as pain, where they had not seemed painful before.  This shows just how much our situation and mindset can influence our perception of what we are feeling.
• She arrived at the hospital at 8:30 am, and baby was born at 9:17.
• She left the hospital knowing that she would not be coming back.
• In PA, it’s incredibly difficult to find a midwife because there are no midwifery regulations. She discusses how she felt like she had to find a “black market midwife”
• Although she was going through a difficult divorce during her third pregnancy, her experience was amazing because of her care. The midwives cared about her mental health, her life experiences, etc.  This was all taken into consideration during her care.
• She did use traditional midwives, who did not have access to medications, testing or scans. She discusses how although she felt comfortable with this for this birth, it’s unfair that other mothers, who might not, must make these kinds of choices simply because of the state’s choices.

Krista’s mother was able to make it for the birth of her third baby.

• She didn’t even realize the midwives and doula had arrived for quite some time, as they were quietly waiting in the corner.
• She had made such a gorgeous atmosphere in her room- an are where she could truly relax into labor and be present. Twinkle lights, birth pool, worship music all set the mood.
• She was able to have her 3 year old in the room as her daughter was born.
• “I felt so victorious”

Keep up with Krista:

• recoveringsuperwoman.com
• Instagram.com/recoveringsuperwoman

 

 

Episode Roundup:

1. At the beginning of this episode we discussed the importance of not only learning to ask for help, but also learning to accept help. This is vital.
2. Liability drives hospital decision-making. The best interest of the mother is not.  This means that when facing the hospital setting, we have to be very aware of what is going on and PUSH for informed consent.
3. Having a homebirth can be overwhelmingly healing. Midwives can be so phenomenal in supporting mothers in their birthing journey, no matter the emotional backdrop to the pregnancy.  Care is so individual.  Even during a difficult personal experience, Krista was able to find strength and victory in her homebirth experience.

Gather round, mama and papa bears.  This week's episode is in celebration of our adorable, precocious 3-year-old, Janie.  We'll be listening to Thomas's perspective of our pregnancy, birth and postpartum, and some of his favorite Janie-isms.  

 

Special thank you to Thomas for being willing to come back on the podcast.  I love doing shows (and life in general) with you!

For those of you who have had more than one birth, I’m curious to know…. How have you changed between experiences?  Have you experienced small, subtle changes over time, or has your world view vastly pivoted? 

 

Today’s guest, Kameren Moore, also goes by The Woke RN.  Kameren had her first baby 14 years ago, and at that time was very comfortable with the medical establishment and felt that she was in good hands. 

 

As the years have progressed, however, Kameren’s opinions on western medicine and traditional health care have drastically shifted, and these realizations/opinions greatly influenced how she decided to give birth, especially with her most recent baby.

 

From Pitocin and epidurals to a CBD unassisted birth, routine vaccines to ex-vaxxer, Kameren has, as she describes it, woken up to a different, more empowering way of life.  I can’t wait for you to listen in.

 

Now, I want to make something clear.  This show is not only for hippies, it’s not only for non-vaxxers and the like.  I know we have a diversity of listeners, and I appreciate that.  You certainly do not have to agree with every aspect and choice that Kameren makes to appreciate the fact that she is one powerful, thoughtful woman who cares deeply about her family and their health.  However, I personally would like for you to be open-minded about the information Kameren is sharing, and if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me, or I’m sure she’d be happy for you to contact her as well. 

 

Please remember that the opinions of my guests might not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and neither one of us are acting as medical providers on this podcast, so be sure to continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if you’re like me, your chiropractor.  Sit back and enjoy my discussion with Kameren, the Woke RN.

 

Episode roundup:

 

Here’s the biggie I took away from this episode, and it can be all boiled down into one amazing word.  Any guesses? 

Ownership.  Own. Your.  Birth.  I don’t care where or how you’re giving birth, this is YOUR birth.  You decide what happens and how it happens.  I loved hearing how Kameren gained this understanding of ownership throughout her birthing experience and even ended up having and owning her unassisted freebirth.  Ownership doesn’t mean that everything goes right.  I mean, we’re humans living in a broken world.  Things don’t always go perfectly, whether you’re in the hospital or at home.  So ownership is understanding that—and still doing all that you can to educate and prepare yourself for whatever birthing setting you choose. 

 

And the last point I want to make, which is somewhat of a bonus point, is Kameren’s discussion of fear-clearing.  Another huge aspect of the mindful homebirth formula.  We’ve got to clear our fears (through education) to allow space for all of the good emotions.  If you’re excited to dive into this more, be sure you have downloaded my free Mini Course, The Happy Homebirth Essentials Mini Course.  

Do you bring a beginner’s mind to your births?  What do I even mean by that? I look forward to Amber’s stories today specifically for this reason.  Even with 5 births, Amber learned that each baby will be born in his or her own unique way. 

Learning to let go of all of the assumptions of what birth is or is not is a great way to enter labor.  Recognizing that this is a new birth, a new baby, a new experience can help us let go of expectations and become intuitive with what we need and want each time. 

Before we get started, I want to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!  This year, I am thankful for you.  I’m so thankful for the mothers I’ve met, the stories I’ve heard, and the listeners I’ve connected with.  You’ve all been such a blessing to me, and I pray each day that this podcast will be a blessing to you, wherever you are in your journey.  I hope this brings you comfort, encouragement, and the understanding that you are so powerful and so incredible.  I’m honored to be able to play a small part in your birthing or motherhood journey. 

If you’re feeling a little loving, I’d be so grateful for you to take a moment to leave a review on iTunes.  This is such a helpful way for the podcast to grow.  If you’re selected as the reviewer of the week, I’ll be sending you a Happy Homebirth Podcast Sticker.  You can also take a quick screenshot of you listening to this episode and upload it to your Instagram stories.  Tag @happyhomebirthpodcast and I”ll be sure to share it in my stories, too! 

Finally- looking for a great gift for your midwife, homebirth mama friend, or yourself?  Happy homebirth t shirts are available again!  You can score yours through the website or the link in my Instagram bio!  3 different styles to choose from, and several colors in each!  I personally love the baseball tee.   

Okay, let’s waste no time.  Amber has such goodness to share with us!

Please remember that the opinions of my guest may not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and neither one of us are medical professionals, so continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if  you’re like me, your chiropractor. 

 

• Amber is a British born mom who has had babies both in the US and abroad
• She’s a doula of 10 years
• Her first 2 babies were hospital births because she lived in Missouri, where midwifery was practically illegal at the time
• After her first 2 births, she and her family moved to Scotland, where she had her third baby, a surprise breech birth
• They moved back to the States when she was heavily pregnant with her fourth baby
• Moved bac to Missouri and had a homebirth
• Her first baby was rather textbook, with contractions getting longer, stronger and closer together. However, her hospital experience was upsetting when after her baby was born, they would not allow her to bond immediately, taking the baby off for they routine procedures.  All the while, Amber was saying, “My baby! My baby!”
• Her second baby was born basically unassisted with the doctor and nurse missing the birth!
• One great thing about the UK is that there is a duty to provide care, so even if you’re “high risk”
• Her third pregnancy was hard because she had Symphisis Pubic Disorder
• She spoke to a midwife on the phone and realized one she liked was about to be on call—she immediately began having contractions
• When the midwives got there, she wanted to get in the pool. They didn’t discourage her, but it was obvious they thought it was too soon.
• Within 45 minutes she was pushing
• As baby was “crowning”, she put her hand down and realized a bottom was coming out
• Her head was still inside, but she can feel the baby swimming in the water with her legs!
• Luckily, the relaxed midwife was there, and she said, “It’s fine, just wait for your next contraction and everything is fine and her head will come out.
• Amber is so grateful she didn’t have a vaginal exam
• She mentions how her third birth felt quite different- she didn’t want pressure on her back like she had before, but appreciated pressure on her sides.  She also had a desire to lean forward.  Later, she learned that this is often how moms feel and respond to breech babies
• The midwives didn’t touch the baby at all as she emerged, though she did keep her hand on Amber’s back to remind her to keep her body in the water.
• Once baby was born, she was alert, but not breathing. The midwives cut the cord a few minutes after being born and gave her a few breaths.  Amber says in hindsight she would have asked them to wait.
• Amber made certain that her midwife with her next baby would be comfortable catching a breech birth just in case the next was breech as well.
• Her next birth was incredibly uncomfortable—the opposite of her breech birth

The Miles Circuit eventually helped baby get into a good position.  http://www.milescircuit.com/

• Once again with this midwife, she was discouraged from getting into the pool—she decided not to get in because the “expert” didn’t think it was a good idea. The baby was born 30 minutes later in the pool with an inch of water
• With her most recent birth she decided to hire a doula, even with two midwives there.
• She came up with a fantastic idea: She did not want her midwife to ask her anything. She wanted all questions to come through her husband or doula—because Amber knew she could say no to them, but would not necessarily feel comfortable saying no to her midwife.
• Her 5^th baby came way out of Amber’s normal range (40+2- 40+5) This baby came at 41+3!
• This birth was magical- she had an accidental unassisted birth with just her husband present (midwives were on the way)
• Because this was so fast, the photographer did not make it.

 

Episode Roundup: 

My two favorite takeaways from this episode?

1. If you ever think you’ve got this birth thing down and know exactly how it goes, watch out! Amber’s stories show us that each baby has his or her own special story and way of entering the world.  Be it time, position or labor pattern, there’s always something new to experience as we bring our babies Earthside, so remember to bring a beginner’s mind and a sense of humor to each birthing experience
2. And now I want to mention my very favorite takeaway: Amber discussed how she realized after her fourth birth that her decisions in labor could be very heavily swayed by her perception of what her midwives, the professionals, thought.  Because of this, she decided to have her doula and husband work as gatekeepers.  All questions were to go through them so that Amber could respond in the way that she felt most comfortable.  Although this ended up not even being a necessity since the birth ultimately happened before anyone could arrive, this approach is just mind-blowingly amazing to me, and I love it.  I love the sense of true consent this brings to the birthing situation. If you feel you might be swayed by your care provider’s opinions, even when they mean the very best, which of course the typically do, consider using this approach.  Let them know beforehand that you’d like to approach your birth this way—and give them this episode as a resource!  I’m sure they’ll be grateful for the new idea. 

Liberated birth.  What a powerful phrase.  What does it bring to mind to you?  For me, I think of a woman who has decided to take full ownership of her birthing experience.  A woman who is completely in—no matter where or how she’s decided to give birth.  A woman who has taken the time to educate herself on the intricacies of birth.  I’d love for you to ponder this idea of liberated birth as we speak to today’s guest, Ilka Bee, the founder and creator of Liberated Birth Movement.  You’ll hear all about what that is, along with Ilka’s own liberated birth experience as we dive into this episode. 

And this perspective is so useful- I know I’ve mentioned it before, but my birthing comfort zone is at home with a certified professional midwife.  However, this is, of course, not the case for everyone!  Some moms prefer more, some less.  This episode will focus more on “less” variety, and I love it for that.  And what’s more, we’ve got two episodes coming up at the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020 that will delve into the freebirth stories of two moms.  And if you’re looking for another episode on the topic, be sure to check out episode 40, Shayla Has an Empowered Freebirth.  I’ll link it in the show notes!

 

Okay, switching gears quickly.  I want to take a minute or two here to be super open and honest with you guys.  If you caught last Friday’s Facebook live, you heard a bit of this already.  I want to acknowledge something: I haven’t been practicing what I preach lately.  When it comes to postpartum care and sustainability as a whole, I have really dropped the ball in the last two or three months, and I’ll tell you why.

After having Lillian, I was hit with this amazing, wonderful surge of creativity and clarity.  If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know I take my faith seriously, and I knew the holy spirit was urging me to create a childbirth education program.  This happened to me before—in fact, it’s exactly how this podcast was created in the first place.  It’s how I decided to launch this podcast on January first of this past year. 

So… when I was hit with the realization that I was to create a childbirth education program for homebirth mamas, I went full steam ahead.  I never asked for guidance on the timeline, I just decided—Let’s do January 1^st of 2020.  Plenty of time, right? 

 

Well, turns out wrong.  And now, a few months in, I’m so burnt out and overwhelmed.  I’ve been staying up well past midnight most nights, I work through my girls’ nap time, and when I’m not able to be working on the course, I’m stressing about the course.  I’ve allowed it to consume my life—all because of this arbitrary date I created before recognizing how much work this course would entail and without acknowledging the fact that the season I am in requires slowness and rest. 

So.  All that to say—I’m not going to launch the course on January first.  I’ve got most of the content created, as I am nearing the end of the live version with my founding members… but there is just so much more to do, to create, to clean up.  I want this course to be perfect and I want it to be made in a manner of glorification, not desperation.

After the holidays I’ll have a much better idea of when an appropriate/healthy launch date is, and I’ll certainly let you know.  In the meantime, if you were really looking forward to the January launch, just shoot me an email.  I’m sure there’s a way we can still work together to prepare you, it just won’t be in the form of my beautiful, complete digital childbirth education course.

So thank you guys for my quick little… admittance.  I’ve definitely blown off course and it’s time to get back on.  If you’re in a similar season as me and you’re overworking, consider this your reminder to cool your jets, mama.  We’ve got to take care of ourselves so we can continue take care of our sweet families. 

 

Alright, sidebar closed.  Let’s get on with the show.  Take a screenshot now!  Upload it to Instagram stories and tag happyhomebirthpodcast so I can share it in my stories, too!  Leave me a review on iTunes so I can send you a happy homebirth sticker and read it on air! 

 

Show Notes:

 

• Ilka is a liberated birth coach- educating women about how to have a pregnancy and birth outside of the medical system
• Moved from Germany to India to California and became a prenatal yoga teacher
• Studied massage therapy and prenatal massage
• Began being asked to attend births- got kicked out of several hospitals because she was adamant about protecting her clients
• Started apprenticing with a midwife- 4 years of schooling, was about to take her NARM exam to license and suddenly her intuition began telling her not to
• Attended the Indie Birth Conference in Sedona and felt very connected to the movement.  Decided she did not want to work for the State, and only for her clients.
• Works as an online birth coach to teach women how to get through all the pitfalls of birth and pregnancy
•  Ilka discusses the trauma of watching obstetric violence occur in the hospital
• In a freebirth with a “witness”- Ilka feels it’s important for the communication between the two parties to be deeply in tune.  She feels that often the problem is that women don’t even know what they want and do not know what is possible
• Ilka says the most important aspect of birth is the mother taking full responsibility.  Often times, women do not take that responsibility because they’re scared
• She states that prenatal care is not the 15 minutes at the Dr.’s office or even the 1 hour appointment with the midwife—prenatal care is what you’re doing 24/7: Mindset techniques, nutrition, exercises, emotional stability tools,
• Liberated birth: discuss all of the previously mentioned techniques, and then how to get your partner on board, as well as what type of birth attendants you want, physiological/natural/mammalian birth, what does labor actually feel like, and how to bond after birth
• Traveled the world while she was pregnant
• At 38 weeks they road tripped back home from California to Montreal.  At 39 weeks they traveled 10 hours to her husband’s brother’s wedding.  Danced all night
• Began having surges so drove the 10 hours home
• Ate scrambled eggs and canned oysters
• Set up the birth space beautifully
• Spent about 8 hours  in the tub- fears of not being an adequate mom
• “Either our son has a very tiny penis, or we’ve got a daughter”
• The cord was wrapped around her neck twice and once around her shoulders.  She was born en caul
• The placenta was born 5 minutes later
• She left the placenta attached for several hours and then cut the cord
• She didn’t see anyone for the first 40 days of her life except for her mother and father.

 

Get in touch with Ilka! 

Listen to Shayla's Freebirth Story