Happy Homebirth

Episode 47: Elizabeth Wolfrey

What do you do when you realize you’re unhappy with the care you’re receiving prenatally?

Elizabeth found herself in this position, for the second time, during her second pregnancy.  Fortunately, she had learned much since her first experience, and she was unwilling to stand by as the positive birth she desired slipped away. 

Elizabeth, like so many other courageous moms, made a change later in the game—but certainly in time.

Before we dive into this episode, I have to give a big thank you to the founding members of Happy Homebirth Academy.  Our group begins Tuesday, October 22^nd, and I am so excited for the feedback they’ll be providing me as I refine this childbirth education program specifically with you, the homebirth mother, in mind.  I can’t wait to share the tools to a mindful, peaceful homebirth with you in January.  If you’re interested in a small taste of what’s to come, be sure to check out the Happy Homebirth Essentials Mini-Course, which includes 5 tips to having a successful homebirth.  You can pick that up at myhappyhomebirth.com/essentials.

Go ahead and take a screenshot of this episode and upload it to your Instagram stories.  As always, you know I’ll share it on my stories, too!

And hooray!  New stickers are officially in!  If you’re loving this show, I’d be so grateful if you’d take a moment to head to itunes and leave a review.  If you’re selected as the reviewer of the week, I’ll be sending you one of these sweet new stickers.

Short and sweet.  That’s all I have for you right now, so as we enter into this interview, please remember that the opinions of my guest might not reflect my own and vice versa, and neither my guest or myself are acting as medical providers, so please continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if you’re like me, you’re chiropractor.

Show Notes:

• Elizabeth Has PCOS, so did have a bit of a difficult time becoming pregnant in the first place

• Had a hospital birth with her son (first birth).

• Induced at 39 weeks- not a reason that they induced her. She wanted to be induced, so they did. 

• Short labor, only 12 hours

• Showed her Dr a picture of mucous, to which the Dr. said, “Ugh, I don’t want to see that!”

• Didn’t switch to a midwife with her second birth until 25 weeks. At first, her husband was uncertain that Elizabeth would be able to cope at home.

• Discussed the fact the appointments were always 1hour +

• Husband’s big question: “Well, what if something happens?”
  -It’s birth. Things do happen sometimes and you deal with it as it comes.  But typically everything goes okay
• -Once they had a successful experience, he was so happy

• -Got to a point where she decided they weren’t going to tell anyone unless they knew they’d be supportive because they weren’t interested in negativity during such an important time as pregnancy

• Tractor-tractions

• Stopped at WENDY’S ON THE WAY

• Felt like she needed to poop…. Actually did need to poop.

• Labored in the water, then really enjoyed laboring on hands and knees, then was laboring facing the back of the toilet, which helped open things up. Her water broke.

• Contractions were very strong

• Mentions that one of her midwives reminded her of a mom figure, and she really loved that.

• Felt the fetal ejection reflex—enjoyed pushing

• Discusses the calmness of her baby—the way that you’re brought into the world can make such a difference

Episode Roundup:

There’s so much we can glean from this episode.

1. One of my favorite parts is the work that both Elizabeth and her husband did to prepare for their second birth.  She read Ina May books, they watched The Business of Being Born, and they even took a childbirth education class together to understand what her body would be doing during labor… this was all after having given birth before!  There’s always so much to learn.
2. I love how Elizabeth compares the way her baby was born to the calmness of her personality now. Perhaps this isn’t always the case, but I do feel that the overwhelming, undisturbed love her daughter must have felt during those first moments on Earth certainly cause healthy, positive hormones that can ground us all beautifully.
3. Finally, I want to tie things up the way we began. Elizabeth didn’t switch to the care of out-of-hospital midwives until 25 weeks pregnant with her second.  But you know what?  It wasn’t too late in the game.  In fact, as long as there’s time left on the clock, even if it’s down to the very end, there’s still time for a change.  Please remember that you’re the one in charge- I beg that you don’t let anyone take that power away from you.

Okay, my friends.  I hope you loved this interview like I did, and I look forward to seeing you back here, next week.

Instagram.com/raisingwolfs

“I want to have a homebirth with my second, but I’d feel safer giving birth in the hospital with my first baby.”

I hear this from so many moms.  And I get it!  With so much propaganda and misinformation regarding the safety of homebirth, I certainly see why so many moms feel this is the best option.

And for many, it really is!  They’ll feel more comfortable and just as empowered at the hospital.  But for others, they expect that having a natural birth in the hospital will be easier than giving birth at home, and once they experience the deep-rooted disempowerment that may occur at the hospital, they long to have considered homebirth more and swear to give birth at home the next time.  I mean, listen back to just a few interviews and you’ll hear this theme again and again.

In today’s episode, we’ll be speaking with Elena, who decided to do just that: give birth naturally at the hospital first.  We’ll hear her experience- both the good and not-so-good, and we’ll learn how to prepare ourselves in advance should we decide to give birth there, or perhaps we’ll skip it all together and just stay home.

Episode Roundup:

Wow, there’s so much to say about this brilliant episode.  I’m so grateful that Elena came prepared to discuss both the pros and cons of her birthing experience in such detail.

The main point I want to bring up as we wrap things up is this:  if you’re more comfortable giving birth in the hospital, own that.  The point of this episode is not to make you feel concerned. Rather, it’s to inform you before you get there what you may expect and come into contact with, and be prepared.

I want to mention Elena’s sage advice of having a dedicated birth team to shoo away those care providers who just aren’t understanding the word “no.”  This is critical in my opinion.

And of course, coming from someone who clearly loves homebirth, I want to remind you that many of the struggles you could face in the hospital are not struggles you’ll likely face in the homebirth setting.

As always, do your own research.  And if you decide homebirth is right for you, check out my free homebirth mini course… a teeny smidge of a taste of what to expect when the full course launches in January.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Evidence Based Birth- Group B Strep

Happy Homebirth Academy

Happy Homebirth Essentials Mini Course

T Shirts! 

Show Notes:

Preparation for childbirth:  Did you take it seriously?  Now, don’t get me wrong.  This certainly does not look the same for everyone.  For many, it’s a formal class.  For others, however, it can be as simple as a grounding mantra.

“This is the birth that I wanted.”  Alla remembers reciting these 7 words to herself each time she would feel any sense of nervousness over her upcoming homebirth.  She knew she could do it—after all, she had given birth before in the hospital, and quickly at that.

But this phrase helped her maintain a mindset of both gratitude and positivity.

Alla was grateful to have a homebirth.  In fact, when she mentioned the idea to her husband for the first time, he thought the idea was ridiculous.  Giving birth at home?  When there’s a perfectly good hospital down the road?  No thank you.

But Alla persisted.

After bringing up this whole “homebirth thing” several times, Alla’s husband decided it’d be worth discussing with their midwives (these midwives work in both the hospital and home setting).  After the meeting, he was on board.  They were doing it—they were having a homebirth.

In the end, their second daughter entered the world beautifully.  And now?  Her husband is the first to exclaim the benefits of homebirth! 

Alla mentioned several amazing benefits of homebirth:  The peacefulness of giving birth in your own home, the beauty of having a small and loving support team to help you settle in (and even troubleshoot) postpartum, and the cleanliness compared to the massive amounts of bacteria and infection that can be found at the hospital.  All incredibly valid reasons to just stay home!

Homebirth.  It has a way of drawing us back in.  Alla admits that because of their beautiful birthing experience, the idea of another baby isn’t such a bad idea…

Show Notes:

Births are like snowflakes.  Individual, unique, and often wet.  But we’ll focus on the first two.  Jessica’s 3 birth stories are hyper-unique and unexpected… and you’re going to love them!

From a game time decision to have a homebirth with her first (seriously-she was in labor) to a shocking position of baby number two, to a much heavier baby #3… Jessica’s birth stories vary dramatically.

And most beautifully, after all of these experiences, Jessica’s message to pregnant women everywhere is this: don’t be fearful!  She notes how much fear is infused in our culture regarding birth, but how unnecessary this truly is.

Listen in to the end to hear Jessica’s advice on how to care for yourself and your emotions when it comes to the naysayers. 

Episode Roundup:

1. How amazing is it that there will never be a birth just like yours?  AND you will never give birth exactly the same way twice.  What an amazing opportunity for growth and experience, and what a privilege.
2. I just love Jessica’s discussion of fearfulness and how it serves no purpose in birth. It’s so encouraging to hear women cheering each other on and reminding one another of their strength and power.  The fact that our culture is just steeped in fear, especially regarding childbirth—which should be so beautiful—is a tragedy.  Often times this fear seems to be surrounding the idea that birth is either dangerous or painful or both.  This podcast exists to show that those are not the only options!  Birth is safe, and there’s PLENTY that can be done in the realm of comfort.  If you’re curious about that, be sure to check out the cute little pain relief cheat sheet I made for you at myhappyhomebirth.com/painrelief This little infographic cheat sheet syncs up beautifully with the series of Facebook live videos I’m currently in the middle of.  Be sure to check ‘em out!

Help out the show:

Leave a review on iTunes for a chance to be the reviewer of the week– you’ll be sent a Happy Homebirth sticker if selected!

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Pain Relief Cheat Sheet

Show Notes:

Show Notes: 

Picture this:  You’re pregnant for the second, third, or maybe fifth time.  What do you do?  I mean, you’ve done this before.  You certainly know all there is to know, right?

This week’s guest, Elizabeth Bauer, takes education seriously, and just because she’s done something once doesn’t mean she isn’t going to learn and prepare even more for the next go ‘round.

Elizabeth takes us on a journey of her birthing experiences.  From a frenzied birth center birth to a birth without the midwife present, to finally a mindful and peaceful third birth—Elizabeth was bent in improving her experience every time. 

We’ll hear how:

- the clothing choices of her midwife at her first birth subconsciously threw off her game

-she learned that she knows her body better than anyone else, even professionals

- love and laughter can bring on a baby in a hurry

-and how mindfulness gave her the most beautiful, present birth yet.

I’m so excited to share this story, as it is a beautiful example of why I find childbirth education so important.  This episode is exactly why I am creating my own childbirth education program.  Mindful, present homebirths are what I want for all of you, and I’m making the perfect program to help you achieve that goal. 

Elizabeth’s journey is incredible.  I’m so grateful she was able to impart both beautiful storytelling and wisdom with us!

Show Notes:

Under what circumstances would you decide to give birth at home?  In the hospital?

Today’s episode explores this idea, as we delve into Rhiannon’s birth stories.  Rhiannon experienced two lackluster hospital births, one of which was very aggressive in nature. 

It was at this point that she decided to learn more about birth.  After finding out she was pregnant with her third, Rhiannon reached out to a midwife.  She was so excited to begin care… until she found out she was pregnant with twins.  What would she do now?

Listen in to hear how Rhiannon handled this interesting situation.

After Rhiannon’s twin birth, she became pregnant one more time.  With this baby, surely she’d have a homebirth.  Unfortunately, as labor approached, Rhiannon began bleeding and realized quite quickly that she was in an emergent situation.  She headed to the hospital to receive the care she needed.

Today’s episode is full of ups and downs.  Rhiannon’s positivity and encouragement are a light through it all!

Help out the show:

Leave a review on iTunes for a chance to be the reviewer of the week– you’ll be sent a Happy Homebirth sticker if selected!

Take a screenshot listening to this episode and add it to your Instagram stories tagging @happyhomebirthpodcast.  We’ll add you to ours and give you a shout out!

Support through joining the Patreon community.  Receive tons of exclusive offers as a show contributor!

Have you ever considered what it would be like to give birth as intimately as possible?  This certainly may look different for different people.  For example—for me, giving birth as intimately as possible meant having just my husband and best friend/apprentice in the room with me for the majority of my labor, with the rest of my birth team filing in at the very end.  For Shayla and others, this means giving birth completely alone—with just their family at home.  Many people call this unassisted childbirth, or freebirth.  Although I personally love and respect midwifery and the comfort of having a Certified Professional Midwife attend my births, it’s important to acknowledge and recognize that that’s not the only way people choose to give birth at home.  I also find it important to not that unassisted childbirth is legal in all 50 states—whereas the legality for CPMs to attend homebirths varies from state to state.  Annoying? Yes.  But true.

Today we speak with Shayla, who has experienced a vast array when it comes to childbirth.  From giving birth at her mother-in-law’s house (a feat in and of itself) to a hospital, to home alone, she’s done it all (and with grace, I might add!). 

In the beginning (you’ll get this pun later), Shayla decided to have a homebirth with her first child.  She did this because she didn’t want to deal with the pressures and protocols of the hospital.  Shayla knew she wanted to give birth naturally, and she felt that hospital staff would make her labor more difficult.  She found a student midwife to act as her care provider. 

At that time, Shayla knew no one who was giving birth at home.  She’d become more natural in many ways—from learning how to cure a toothache, to fertility support, and now in relation to homebirth.

She went on to have her second baby at home, too, though home had moved from Mississippi to Phoenix, Arizona. 

With her third baby, Shayla ended up using a Certified Nurse Midwife in the hospital.  She discusses the lack of African American midwives, and how finding one can be very difficult.  We discussed the fact that Sistamidwife has a directory for these providers.

Although she was able to give birth naturally in the hospital, Shayla acknowledges the difficulty she experienced.  With so many people coming in and out, it was difficult for her to get into the groove of labor.  She found it frustrating that she’d have to have “tiny arguments” with the staff about what she knew she needed for her body.

With her fourth child, she maintained relationship with her CNM.  She went to prenatals regularly, though all the while she planned to give birth to her baby alone with her family at home, assuming she remained healthy. Fortunately, Shayla did remain healthy and confident. 

She gave birth to baby #4 on the floor in her front room after her children had gone to bed.  She said that once she began pushing, baby came so fast that her husband almost missed catching him!  Speaking of her husband, Shayla discusses how supportive he was, and how he has always thought she’d be a great candidate for a “freebirth”.

Mentions In this Episode:

Spinning Babies

Sista Midwife

Sista Girl Midwifery (North Charleston, SC

Liberated Birth Movement 

Keep up with Shayla:

Website

Instagram

Facebook

Blog

Show Notes:

For those of you who have experienced it—was postpartum anything like you thought it would be?  In fact—did you even spend much time considering it before your first birth?

I’ll be the first to say that with my first child, I didn’t pay nearly enough attention to postpartum. Sure, I considered breastfeeding… but I expected this to be the one potentially difficult aspect of new motherhood.  I didn’t expect the anxiety, and I certainly didn’t expect rage.  But postpartum hormones can be…intense.

Chelsea shares this experience.  As a mother who gave birth at home with her first, she felt she’d set herself up for success.  And she had!  However, that’s not the end of the work for any new mom (or at least, it shouldn’t be!).  She discusses how after a gorgeous first birth, Chelsea struggled with deep postpartum anxiety and rage. 

Having this experience pushed Chelsea to create Postpartum Together—an online coaching group dedicatied to the postpartum mother. She’s created a 5-month curriculum that helps mothers navigate postpartum… together.

This deep understanding of the postpartum experience certainly came in handy for Chelsea after her second daughter was born.  At the 20-week ultrasound, Chelsea and her husband were informed that their daughter had a congenital heart defect.  She was able to give birth naturally (and very quickly!) at the hospital, but her daughter had to undergo heart surgery at 5 months of age—another deep stress and anxiety. 

Chelsea’s realness and positive outlook are an amazing encouragement for all of us, and she is doing a phenomenal job of bringing women together at such a transformative time.

Keep up with Chelsea!

www.strivelesslivemore.com

www.instagram.com/chelsb.skaggs

Deepest Thank You to Our Sponsor!

Hatched at Home- Midwife Carrie LaChapelle:

www.hatchedathome.com

https://www.facebook.com/MidwifeCarrieLachapelleLMCPM/

864-907-6363

Help out the show:

Leave a review on iTunes for a chance to be the reviewer of the week– you’ll be sent a Happy Homebirth sticker if selected!

Take a screenshot listening to this episode and add it to your Instagram stories tagging @happyhomebirthpodcast.  We’ll add you to ours and give you a shout out!

Support through joining the Patreon community.  Receive tons of exclusive offers as a show contributor!

Do you ever consider the similarities and differences of homebirth, and birth in general, around the globe?  Episode 37 gives a glimpse into the maternity care of women in Ireland by following Emer’s journey from hospital to homebirth. 

Emer is a fitness-loving mother of 3 located on the western coast of Ireland.  She owns a women’s gym where she works with women in all stages of life, with a specific love of helping women pre and postnatally. 

She and her business partner run an online blog called Food Fitness Fertility.  They are dedicated to teaching women how to care for themselves, track their cycles, and learn about fertility options other than the traditional route of IVF.

Emer’s first two births took place in the hospital, but because of her uncomplicated pregnancies and the swiftness of her second labor, she decided to give birth at home with her third baby. 

After a beautiful, uncomplicated pregnancy, life became hard at 34 weeks when her husband sustained a leg injury from a sports complication.  The injury required surgery and 6 weeks in a brace at 90 degrees.  Emer’s last bit of pregnancy was spent caring for her 2 young children and her husband.  Though exhausted, she is grateful for all of the preparation she did beforehand.

Luckily, her baby waited to be born until her husband was out of the brace and available to help.  Unfortunately, on the day that early labor began, her children were feverish and sick.  Labor took place overnight, however, and her children slept through the main event (though one did wake soon after with a fever—and woke the second child up, too!  Oh, parenthood.) 

Emer’s last birth was quick and uncomplicated, and her baby came out both crying and peeing! 

She discusses the importance of taking care of ourselves and understanding our cycles when it comes to pregnancy.  Emer discusses how much emphasis is put on not getting pregnant when we are teens, but there is no information on HOW to get pregnant, which she finds just as important. 

Deepest Thank You to Our Sponsor!

Hatched at Home- Midwife Carrie LaChapelle:

www.hatchedathome.com

https://www.facebook.com/MidwifeCarrieLachapelleLMCPM/

864-907-6363

Help out the show:

Leave a review on iTunes for a chance to be the reviewer of the week– you’ll be sent a Happy Homebirth sticker if selected!

Take a screenshot listening to this episode and add it to your Instagram stories tagging @happyhomebirthpodcast.  We’ll add you to ours and give you a shout out!

Support through joining the Patreon community.  Receive tons of exclusive offers as a show contributor!