Happy Homebirth

When it comes to finding your way to your homebirth midwife, was this an easy or difficult path for you?

After 2 hospital births, Krista knew she was ready to take birth home.  The issue, however, was finding a care provider.  In Western PA, midwives are publicly prosecuted for attending homebirths.  CPMs and traditional midwives alike are underground.  Krista mentions she felt like she was calling a “black market midwife.” 

In this episode, we discuss it all.  From birth trauma to faulty legislation…but we end the way I pray all births do… victoriously.  Join me as we learn about Krista’s experience with 3 under 3.

 

Show Notes:

• Krista is a corporate lawyer and mother to 3 children, ages 3 and under.
• She discussed how ridiculous it is that these practices and hospitals expect mothers to sign away all of their rights and consent weeks before even being in labor, or even upon entrance to the hospital. How can you give informed consent when you don’t even know the situation yet?
• This is why she decided to switch to the care of midwives at 28 weeks.
• After her first birthing experience, which was quite traumatic (they threatened to vacuum baby out simply because she pushed for 2 hours, they whisked him away immediately to NICU and she didn’t see him for 4 hours), she knew she wanted to take back birth.
• Though Krista experienced birth trauma, she has managed to use it for good.
• With her second birth, her midwives switched hospitals (it would now be 70 minutes away)—much because the hospital they were at before’s poilcies were not good for midwifery clients.
• For this birth, her doula was at another labor, so her backup was called. However, after speaking with the backup and telling her all that was going, the backup ended up calling HER backup….
• Krista was so upset. Suddenly her mindset changed and she was now feeling the sensations as pain, where they had not seemed painful before.  This shows just how much our situation and mindset can influence our perception of what we are feeling.
• She arrived at the hospital at 8:30 am, and baby was born at 9:17.
• She left the hospital knowing that she would not be coming back.
• In PA, it’s incredibly difficult to find a midwife because there are no midwifery regulations. She discusses how she felt like she had to find a “black market midwife”
• Although she was going through a difficult divorce during her third pregnancy, her experience was amazing because of her care. The midwives cared about her mental health, her life experiences, etc.  This was all taken into consideration during her care.
• She did use traditional midwives, who did not have access to medications, testing or scans. She discusses how although she felt comfortable with this for this birth, it’s unfair that other mothers, who might not, must make these kinds of choices simply because of the state’s choices.

Krista’s mother was able to make it for the birth of her third baby.

• She didn’t even realize the midwives and doula had arrived for quite some time, as they were quietly waiting in the corner.
• She had made such a gorgeous atmosphere in her room- an are where she could truly relax into labor and be present. Twinkle lights, birth pool, worship music all set the mood.
• She was able to have her 3 year old in the room as her daughter was born.
• “I felt so victorious”

Keep up with Krista:

• recoveringsuperwoman.com
• Instagram.com/recoveringsuperwoman

 

 

Episode Roundup:

1. At the beginning of this episode we discussed the importance of not only learning to ask for help, but also learning to accept help. This is vital.
2. Liability drives hospital decision-making. The best interest of the mother is not.  This means that when facing the hospital setting, we have to be very aware of what is going on and PUSH for informed consent.
3. Having a homebirth can be overwhelmingly healing. Midwives can be so phenomenal in supporting mothers in their birthing journey, no matter the emotional backdrop to the pregnancy.  Care is so individual.  Even during a difficult personal experience, Krista was able to find strength and victory in her homebirth experience.

Gather round, mama and papa bears.  This week's episode is in celebration of our adorable, precocious 3-year-old, Janie.  We'll be listening to Thomas's perspective of our pregnancy, birth and postpartum, and some of his favorite Janie-isms.  

 

Special thank you to Thomas for being willing to come back on the podcast.  I love doing shows (and life in general) with you!

For those of you who have had more than one birth, I’m curious to know…. How have you changed between experiences?  Have you experienced small, subtle changes over time, or has your world view vastly pivoted? 

 

Today’s guest, Kameren Moore, also goes by The Woke RN.  Kameren had her first baby 14 years ago, and at that time was very comfortable with the medical establishment and felt that she was in good hands. 

 

As the years have progressed, however, Kameren’s opinions on western medicine and traditional health care have drastically shifted, and these realizations/opinions greatly influenced how she decided to give birth, especially with her most recent baby.

 

From Pitocin and epidurals to a CBD unassisted birth, routine vaccines to ex-vaxxer, Kameren has, as she describes it, woken up to a different, more empowering way of life.  I can’t wait for you to listen in.

 

Now, I want to make something clear.  This show is not only for hippies, it’s not only for non-vaxxers and the like.  I know we have a diversity of listeners, and I appreciate that.  You certainly do not have to agree with every aspect and choice that Kameren makes to appreciate the fact that she is one powerful, thoughtful woman who cares deeply about her family and their health.  However, I personally would like for you to be open-minded about the information Kameren is sharing, and if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me, or I’m sure she’d be happy for you to contact her as well. 

 

Please remember that the opinions of my guests might not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and neither one of us are acting as medical providers on this podcast, so be sure to continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if you’re like me, your chiropractor.  Sit back and enjoy my discussion with Kameren, the Woke RN.

 

Episode roundup:

 

Here’s the biggie I took away from this episode, and it can be all boiled down into one amazing word.  Any guesses? 

Ownership.  Own. Your.  Birth.  I don’t care where or how you’re giving birth, this is YOUR birth.  You decide what happens and how it happens.  I loved hearing how Kameren gained this understanding of ownership throughout her birthing experience and even ended up having and owning her unassisted freebirth.  Ownership doesn’t mean that everything goes right.  I mean, we’re humans living in a broken world.  Things don’t always go perfectly, whether you’re in the hospital or at home.  So ownership is understanding that—and still doing all that you can to educate and prepare yourself for whatever birthing setting you choose. 

 

And the last point I want to make, which is somewhat of a bonus point, is Kameren’s discussion of fear-clearing.  Another huge aspect of the mindful homebirth formula.  We’ve got to clear our fears (through education) to allow space for all of the good emotions.  If you’re excited to dive into this more, be sure you have downloaded my free Mini Course, The Happy Homebirth Essentials Mini Course.  

Do you bring a beginner’s mind to your births?  What do I even mean by that? I look forward to Amber’s stories today specifically for this reason.  Even with 5 births, Amber learned that each baby will be born in his or her own unique way. 

Learning to let go of all of the assumptions of what birth is or is not is a great way to enter labor.  Recognizing that this is a new birth, a new baby, a new experience can help us let go of expectations and become intuitive with what we need and want each time. 

Before we get started, I want to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!  This year, I am thankful for you.  I’m so thankful for the mothers I’ve met, the stories I’ve heard, and the listeners I’ve connected with.  You’ve all been such a blessing to me, and I pray each day that this podcast will be a blessing to you, wherever you are in your journey.  I hope this brings you comfort, encouragement, and the understanding that you are so powerful and so incredible.  I’m honored to be able to play a small part in your birthing or motherhood journey. 

If you’re feeling a little loving, I’d be so grateful for you to take a moment to leave a review on iTunes.  This is such a helpful way for the podcast to grow.  If you’re selected as the reviewer of the week, I’ll be sending you a Happy Homebirth Podcast Sticker.  You can also take a quick screenshot of you listening to this episode and upload it to your Instagram stories.  Tag @happyhomebirthpodcast and I”ll be sure to share it in my stories, too! 

Finally- looking for a great gift for your midwife, homebirth mama friend, or yourself?  Happy homebirth t shirts are available again!  You can score yours through the website or the link in my Instagram bio!  3 different styles to choose from, and several colors in each!  I personally love the baseball tee.   

Okay, let’s waste no time.  Amber has such goodness to share with us!

Please remember that the opinions of my guest may not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and neither one of us are medical professionals, so continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if  you’re like me, your chiropractor. 

 

• Amber is a British born mom who has had babies both in the US and abroad
• She’s a doula of 10 years
• Her first 2 babies were hospital births because she lived in Missouri, where midwifery was practically illegal at the time
• After her first 2 births, she and her family moved to Scotland, where she had her third baby, a surprise breech birth
• They moved back to the States when she was heavily pregnant with her fourth baby
• Moved bac to Missouri and had a homebirth
• Her first baby was rather textbook, with contractions getting longer, stronger and closer together. However, her hospital experience was upsetting when after her baby was born, they would not allow her to bond immediately, taking the baby off for they routine procedures.  All the while, Amber was saying, “My baby! My baby!”
• Her second baby was born basically unassisted with the doctor and nurse missing the birth!
• One great thing about the UK is that there is a duty to provide care, so even if you’re “high risk”
• Her third pregnancy was hard because she had Symphisis Pubic Disorder
• She spoke to a midwife on the phone and realized one she liked was about to be on call—she immediately began having contractions
• When the midwives got there, she wanted to get in the pool. They didn’t discourage her, but it was obvious they thought it was too soon.
• Within 45 minutes she was pushing
• As baby was “crowning”, she put her hand down and realized a bottom was coming out
• Her head was still inside, but she can feel the baby swimming in the water with her legs!
• Luckily, the relaxed midwife was there, and she said, “It’s fine, just wait for your next contraction and everything is fine and her head will come out.
• Amber is so grateful she didn’t have a vaginal exam
• She mentions how her third birth felt quite different- she didn’t want pressure on her back like she had before, but appreciated pressure on her sides.  She also had a desire to lean forward.  Later, she learned that this is often how moms feel and respond to breech babies
• The midwives didn’t touch the baby at all as she emerged, though she did keep her hand on Amber’s back to remind her to keep her body in the water.
• Once baby was born, she was alert, but not breathing. The midwives cut the cord a few minutes after being born and gave her a few breaths.  Amber says in hindsight she would have asked them to wait.
• Amber made certain that her midwife with her next baby would be comfortable catching a breech birth just in case the next was breech as well.
• Her next birth was incredibly uncomfortable—the opposite of her breech birth

The Miles Circuit eventually helped baby get into a good position.  http://www.milescircuit.com/

• Once again with this midwife, she was discouraged from getting into the pool—she decided not to get in because the “expert” didn’t think it was a good idea. The baby was born 30 minutes later in the pool with an inch of water
• With her most recent birth she decided to hire a doula, even with two midwives there.
• She came up with a fantastic idea: She did not want her midwife to ask her anything. She wanted all questions to come through her husband or doula—because Amber knew she could say no to them, but would not necessarily feel comfortable saying no to her midwife.
• Her 5^th baby came way out of Amber’s normal range (40+2- 40+5) This baby came at 41+3!
• This birth was magical- she had an accidental unassisted birth with just her husband present (midwives were on the way)
• Because this was so fast, the photographer did not make it.

 

Episode Roundup: 

My two favorite takeaways from this episode?

1. If you ever think you’ve got this birth thing down and know exactly how it goes, watch out! Amber’s stories show us that each baby has his or her own special story and way of entering the world.  Be it time, position or labor pattern, there’s always something new to experience as we bring our babies Earthside, so remember to bring a beginner’s mind and a sense of humor to each birthing experience
2. And now I want to mention my very favorite takeaway: Amber discussed how she realized after her fourth birth that her decisions in labor could be very heavily swayed by her perception of what her midwives, the professionals, thought.  Because of this, she decided to have her doula and husband work as gatekeepers.  All questions were to go through them so that Amber could respond in the way that she felt most comfortable.  Although this ended up not even being a necessity since the birth ultimately happened before anyone could arrive, this approach is just mind-blowingly amazing to me, and I love it.  I love the sense of true consent this brings to the birthing situation. If you feel you might be swayed by your care provider’s opinions, even when they mean the very best, which of course the typically do, consider using this approach.  Let them know beforehand that you’d like to approach your birth this way—and give them this episode as a resource!  I’m sure they’ll be grateful for the new idea. 

Liberated birth.  What a powerful phrase.  What does it bring to mind to you?  For me, I think of a woman who has decided to take full ownership of her birthing experience.  A woman who is completely in—no matter where or how she’s decided to give birth.  A woman who has taken the time to educate herself on the intricacies of birth.  I’d love for you to ponder this idea of liberated birth as we speak to today’s guest, Ilka Bee, the founder and creator of Liberated Birth Movement.  You’ll hear all about what that is, along with Ilka’s own liberated birth experience as we dive into this episode. 

And this perspective is so useful- I know I’ve mentioned it before, but my birthing comfort zone is at home with a certified professional midwife.  However, this is, of course, not the case for everyone!  Some moms prefer more, some less.  This episode will focus more on “less” variety, and I love it for that.  And what’s more, we’ve got two episodes coming up at the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020 that will delve into the freebirth stories of two moms.  And if you’re looking for another episode on the topic, be sure to check out episode 40, Shayla Has an Empowered Freebirth.  I’ll link it in the show notes!

 

Okay, switching gears quickly.  I want to take a minute or two here to be super open and honest with you guys.  If you caught last Friday’s Facebook live, you heard a bit of this already.  I want to acknowledge something: I haven’t been practicing what I preach lately.  When it comes to postpartum care and sustainability as a whole, I have really dropped the ball in the last two or three months, and I’ll tell you why.

After having Lillian, I was hit with this amazing, wonderful surge of creativity and clarity.  If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know I take my faith seriously, and I knew the holy spirit was urging me to create a childbirth education program.  This happened to me before—in fact, it’s exactly how this podcast was created in the first place.  It’s how I decided to launch this podcast on January first of this past year. 

So… when I was hit with the realization that I was to create a childbirth education program for homebirth mamas, I went full steam ahead.  I never asked for guidance on the timeline, I just decided—Let’s do January 1^st of 2020.  Plenty of time, right? 

 

Well, turns out wrong.  And now, a few months in, I’m so burnt out and overwhelmed.  I’ve been staying up well past midnight most nights, I work through my girls’ nap time, and when I’m not able to be working on the course, I’m stressing about the course.  I’ve allowed it to consume my life—all because of this arbitrary date I created before recognizing how much work this course would entail and without acknowledging the fact that the season I am in requires slowness and rest. 

So.  All that to say—I’m not going to launch the course on January first.  I’ve got most of the content created, as I am nearing the end of the live version with my founding members… but there is just so much more to do, to create, to clean up.  I want this course to be perfect and I want it to be made in a manner of glorification, not desperation.

After the holidays I’ll have a much better idea of when an appropriate/healthy launch date is, and I’ll certainly let you know.  In the meantime, if you were really looking forward to the January launch, just shoot me an email.  I’m sure there’s a way we can still work together to prepare you, it just won’t be in the form of my beautiful, complete digital childbirth education course.

So thank you guys for my quick little… admittance.  I’ve definitely blown off course and it’s time to get back on.  If you’re in a similar season as me and you’re overworking, consider this your reminder to cool your jets, mama.  We’ve got to take care of ourselves so we can continue take care of our sweet families. 

 

Alright, sidebar closed.  Let’s get on with the show.  Take a screenshot now!  Upload it to Instagram stories and tag happyhomebirthpodcast so I can share it in my stories, too!  Leave me a review on iTunes so I can send you a happy homebirth sticker and read it on air! 

 

Show Notes:

 

• Ilka is a liberated birth coach- educating women about how to have a pregnancy and birth outside of the medical system
• Moved from Germany to India to California and became a prenatal yoga teacher
• Studied massage therapy and prenatal massage
• Began being asked to attend births- got kicked out of several hospitals because she was adamant about protecting her clients
• Started apprenticing with a midwife- 4 years of schooling, was about to take her NARM exam to license and suddenly her intuition began telling her not to
• Attended the Indie Birth Conference in Sedona and felt very connected to the movement.  Decided she did not want to work for the State, and only for her clients.
• Works as an online birth coach to teach women how to get through all the pitfalls of birth and pregnancy
•  Ilka discusses the trauma of watching obstetric violence occur in the hospital
• In a freebirth with a “witness”- Ilka feels it’s important for the communication between the two parties to be deeply in tune.  She feels that often the problem is that women don’t even know what they want and do not know what is possible
• Ilka says the most important aspect of birth is the mother taking full responsibility.  Often times, women do not take that responsibility because they’re scared
• She states that prenatal care is not the 15 minutes at the Dr.’s office or even the 1 hour appointment with the midwife—prenatal care is what you’re doing 24/7: Mindset techniques, nutrition, exercises, emotional stability tools,
• Liberated birth: discuss all of the previously mentioned techniques, and then how to get your partner on board, as well as what type of birth attendants you want, physiological/natural/mammalian birth, what does labor actually feel like, and how to bond after birth
• Traveled the world while she was pregnant
• At 38 weeks they road tripped back home from California to Montreal.  At 39 weeks they traveled 10 hours to her husband’s brother’s wedding.  Danced all night
• Began having surges so drove the 10 hours home
• Ate scrambled eggs and canned oysters
• Set up the birth space beautifully
• Spent about 8 hours  in the tub- fears of not being an adequate mom
• “Either our son has a very tiny penis, or we’ve got a daughter”
• The cord was wrapped around her neck twice and once around her shoulders.  She was born en caul
• The placenta was born 5 minutes later
• She left the placenta attached for several hours and then cut the cord
• She didn’t see anyone for the first 40 days of her life except for her mother and father.

 

Get in touch with Ilka! 

Listen to Shayla's Freebirth Story

Why?

 

 

Do you feel clear on the reasons you've chosen the path of homebirth.... or natural childbirth in general?  

 

Join me today as we speak with Brooke Collier of Sister Birth and discuss her amazing guide "7 Mistakes Many Mamas Make When Planning Their Natural Birth...And How to Avoid Them". 

 

Show Notes:

• Brooke is a mother to 4 children, all of whom were born at home
• She has worn many hats over the last 10 years: photographer, birth photographer, student midwife, and doula.  
• She's always been more on the "crunchy" side, so even before marriage she knew she wanted to have a homebirth.  She discussed this with her to-be husband very early on.
• First baby: 48 hours of pretty active labor at home in 90 degree weather – emerging 5 hours after pushing felt amazing
• She had a narrative in her mind that she'd "performed badly," which she worked through with her midwife team postpartum
• After a 48 hour marathon birth, Brook next gave birth to her biggest baby... within 5 hours.  She attributes this to feeling very connected with her baby during labor
• After first child, part of her barter with her midwife was to photograph a birth.  This was her first experience at a homebirth that wasn't hers.
• After 4^th child began working as a student midwife- attended 43 births in 9 months…. Was not sustainable
• As a holistic health coach and Master’s in psychology (counselor), she began working as a doula
• She then created a class that infused her Christian faith with both all of her other offerings and created SisterBirth, an online class

 

Mentioned in this episode:

Embrace: A Sisterly Guide to Having Babies Beautifully

7 Mistakes Many Mamas Make When Planning Their Natural Birth… and How to Avoid Them!

 

Believe in Midwifery Interview 1 

Believe in Midwifery Interview 2

Believe in Midwifery Interview 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey.  You.  You reading this.  You pregnant mama.  Guess who is charge of your birth.

 

Go on, guess.

 

If you answered with anything besides "me," I want you to rethink your answer.

 

Today's episode with Juliana discusses so many important aspects of pregnancy, birth and postpartum.  One of the biggest takeaways comes in the form of the discussion Juliana had with her midwife about what decisions she was comfortable with for her birth and postpartum.  I know you're going to want to listen in for this amazing wisdom!

 

Show Notes:

 

-Had a planned, assisted homebirth

-Has never been a fan of medical intervention, so knew she would want to avoid that in her birth experience

-Juliana’s neighbor had a homebirth right next door, and she encouraged Juliana to have a homebirth

-She recognized the importance of understanding what was happening in her body as she was in labor

-Learned about the process of induction and realized she did not want to be induced.

-Her partner was very on board with the idea of having a homebirth

“We’re in this together—we’re having a homebirth”

-Juliana continued to work out and eat healthy.  The big difference was that she couldn’t go hours and hours without eating—she was ravenous!

-Drank lots of red raspberry leaf towards the end of pregnancy

-Katelyn’s favorite pregnancy tea

 https://nourishedkitchen.com/pregnancy-tea-recipe/

 

-Juliana recognized that she was truly the one in charge of her birthing decisions: she knew it was her midwife’s job to convey the information, but her job to ultimately decide

 

-B.R.A.I.N. acronym

 

-Juliana was crampy on and off throughout her pregnancy.  She felt lots of uterine sensations

-On a Tuesday afternoon she felt her cramps beginning to intensify and get consistent

-Her midwife insisted that she sleep between contractions, and she did.

-She knew how important it was for Juliana to give birth at home, so she stressed how important it was for her to rest during her early labor

-Early labor Tuesday night and all of Wednesday.  Thursday early morning things got intense.  She called her midwife over around 3:30

-Was worried she wouldn’t enjoy the birth pool, but once she got in she admitted it was amazing.

-Wanted to labor in the pool, but to give birth on land.  But by the time she was ready to push the baby out, she was staying in the water.

-Juliana was in active labor for 6 hours, and her baby was born at 8:30 in the morning.

-She says that the end of her labor was intense, but not unbearable- she feels that much of that is related to her mindset. 

-Her midwife said, “I want you to grunt.”  This seemed to help her control her breathing.

-We discuss how birth is so ordinary and extraordinary

-Juliana acknowledges that you can prepare both physically and mentally for birth.  If you go in feeling petrified, you’re probably not going to open up, and it will probably be difficult.

-She took lots of care to help position her baby properly.  She used Spinning Babies positions to align her baby optimally.

-Juliana was determined to work at pregnancy and do all she could to put the odds in her favor.

-Her immediate postpartum experience was difficult, though she did read Dr. Aviva Romm’s book Natural Health After Birth

- He was possibly jaundiced, so sleepy, which made the initial nursing a struggle

-She mentions how the stress of that situation, she feels caused her milk supply to tank…which caused more stress, and it became somewhat cyclical.

-She admits that getting breastfeeding down took probably two solid months.

-Juliana discusses how, yes, nursing is hard for the mother, but wow, it’s hard work for the baby!

 

 

Mentioned in this Episode:

 

Pregnancy Tea

Show Notes:

Madeline Murray, CPM and wonderwoman behind Believe in Midwifery has put her heart and soul into her new course, Believe in Midwifery's Guide to Sustainable Practice.

This episode discusses:

• how the course came about
• who the course is for
• what it entails
• what it isn't
• and more information on where you'll be seeing Madeline in the upcoming months

Here is the link to go purchase your course today!

 

For more podcasts with Madeline:

Believe in Midwifery with Madeline Murray

A Midwife's Long Labor

For more information on Madeline:

Instagram

Website

 

I want to start out with a phrase I hear from a lot of mothers.  “Oh, I had a really long labor.” 

And in my experience, a “really long labor can be anything from 9-48 hours, depending on the mother.”  I consider my first birth to have been obnoxiously long.  I went into early labor on a Thursday night and didn’t have my daughter until 2am on Saturday morning.  Whew.  Long one.  Madeline, however takes the cake when it comes to long labors, as you’ll hear in her birth story.

Today’s guest is no stranger to the podcast.  I interviewed Midwife Madeline Murray on episode 23, and we discussed her brand, passion, life’s work, Believe in Midwifery.  If you haven’t listened to that episode yet, I highly recommend you scoot on over right after you finish this one.  I’ll make it easy for you and put the link in the show notes.  Even more excitingly, this is not the only episode you’ll be hearing from Madeline this week.  Nope!  Be sure to tune back in this Wednesday, as we celebrate the launch of Madeline’s new course, Believe in Midwifery’s Guide to Sustainable Practice.  It’s an amazing episode for both midwives and mothers, so don’t forget to subscribe to the show on your favorite platform so you don’t miss it.

Speaking of your favorite platform, if you wouldn’t mind, I would be so grateful for you to head over to iTunes and leave a review for the show.  Reviews are so helpful for reaching more mothers, and I know you want to get the homebirth message out as much as I do!  Remember that if you leave a review, you have the opportunity to be selected as the reviewer of the week, and I’ll give you a podcast shout-out and e-mail you a happy homebirth sticker.  So….worth the 3 minutes.

Okay, on with the show!  Please remember that the opinions of my guest may not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa, and although Madeline is a care provider, neither one of us are functioning in that role during this episode, so continue to see your doctor, midwife, or if you’re like me, your chiropractor.  Let’s jump in!

 

 Show Notes

• As a midwife, Madeline says she was a terrible pregnant woman. She thought her clients told her everything, so when little things would be different, she would always wonder, “Wait, is this normal!?”  She would go to her friends, who always asked her the questions!  “Yep, you just sound pregnant.”
• “It was humbling to ask for help.”
• Her plan was to have as much of an “unassisted” birth as possible. She wanted her friend Jen, who is a midwife, to come to Atlanta from Oregon when she was in labor and be there with her, but wanted a hands-off situation.
• She knew that “anything” could happen. The only thing she wasn’t expecting—was her water breaking before
• Went to Scollini’s for dinner—wanted to have an eggplant baby (the restaurant is known for sending moms into labor)
• Water broke that night (Sunday night)
• Had a full day of no contractions.
• Early morning, around 8, she got out of bed because she was having somewhat significant contractions
• “Classic first time mom”: tells her friend she can come over and have coffee, calls her mom, calls her sister-in-law
• After an hour or so she noticed she wasn’t progressing, so she kicked everyone out.
• Around dinner time, finally her contractions started picking up somewhat.
• Madeline and her family members played Settlers of Catan that evening
• By 3 in the morning, she was definitely in active labor.
• Got in the birth tub around 5 am and started feeling some pressure (Wednesday morning)
• Madeline decides to check herself, and can only feel baby’s head and the pubic bone. She got into a deep squat for a few contractions and pushed hard.
• She then decided to have her friend check her. She was 7 cm… #classicfirsttimemom
• Had her sister-in-law text all of their friends and family asking for prayers and energy.
• Her mom sent a text to all of the ladies at church asking for prayer
• She needed her tribe to be there with her—every time she had a contraction, everyone would moan and sway with her.
• “I needed help, and I had people there to help me”-Madeline on her tribe
• Jen finally checked her again, and realized the baby was “asynclitic” or cattywompus
• 5 or 6 pm on Wednesday night.
• Decided to lay flat on the couch--- suddenly had an insane seizing spasm on the left side of her body. It made her throw up
• Happened every 30 minutes, and thinks it was causing adrenaline which prevented oxytocin—slowed her contractions, so none of the positions they were trying moved the baby
• Had her brother come over to help massage her back
• Had one more of the spasms and said, “I’m done- this has to stop”
• Decided to head to the hospital. No bag packed, no car seat installed”
• Her brother and husband installed the seat and they left
• The first nurse was uncomfortable with Madeline’s refusal of tests, so they brought in another nurse, who was wonderful
• Madeline declined things, crossed things out, and refused to sign away consent
• Got an epidural, the spasms finally stopped
• Hated the lights, the beeping, the stress
• She feels that the angel nurse she had made a huge difference in the fact that her labor picked up on its own.
• At 6:45 am she began feeling immense pressure. Midwife checked her, and she was complete.
• Madeline decided to “labor down”—wait until her body was forcing to push… which happened with the next contraction
• Madeline began shooting out all of these demands, “Delayed cord clamping! Let the baby restitute on his own!” 
• Even with the epidural she was mobile enough to get into hands and knees
• “This is so hard!”
• All she could think was that every woman she’d ever known must have been stronger than her
• Her Dr. said at one point, “Madeline, you know what this is. You’re just openin’!” and “If you’re talkin’ you ain’t pushin’!
• She pushed him out with lots of meconium behind him
• He was great—crying when he was halfway out
• “Like Oprah”--“You’re the best! You’re the best!”
• She had her baby on her chest the entire time. 4 hours later they left the hospital
• Ped nurse came in saying they weren’t going to discharge the baby
• Madeline discusses how the way they word things makes you feel like you don’t have choices, but you do.
• The importance of kind straightforwardness
• @believeinmidwifery
• rebranded
• com

 

 

Episode Roundup:

1. A Sunday Night-Thursday morning labor…. Now that, my friends, qualifies as a long labor. I want to take this moment to discuss just how incredible the female body is.  To endure intensity for such a long time, and then come out on the other side just fine… that’s amazing. 
2. I love the fact that Madeline expressed to everyone exactly how she wanted to be treated during her birthing time. Hands off, allowing her body to do its own thing.  However, when she got to a point where she needed reassurance and backup, she had her best friend and midwife right there to help her through the uncertainties.
3. Shout out to all of the amazing brothers everywhere. I adore my brother, and I just love hearing stories of other siblings who are close.
4. And finally. Most importantly.  Madeline hit on a point so vital for us all to understand:  For whatever reason, should you find yourself in the hospital, you are still the decision-maker.  You do not have to hand over your power and your autonomy.  You can kindly, but firmly explain your choices (not wishes).  You can use the word decline.  It’s not a dirty word, despite the looks you may receive.  Of course, when help is needed and the situation calls for emergency intervention, it’s not a bad idea to accept.  BUT…. You have the right to be treated like a cognizant human, and you have the right to say, “oh, yeah, don’t think I’m gonna do that.” 

 

Okay, friends.  I know this episode got to you.  I know it because it got to me.  Thank you, Madeline, for all of your wisdom. 

Remember that if you’ve made the decision to have a homebirth, I have a free mini-training just for you.  Think of it as the teeniest, tiniest taste of what’s to come from Happy Homebirth Academy when it launches in January.  Just go to myhappyhomebirth.com/essentials to pick it up!  That’s all for today.  Come back Wednesday for our bonus episode with Madeline!

 

Mentioned in this Episode:

Believe in Midwifery Episode 23

Happy Homebirth Essentials Mini-Course