Happy Homebirth

1. As Errika's story demonstrated, it is possible to have a positive birth experience in the hospital, if that’s the option you feel you need this time around, keep this at front of mind, as it can be extremely encouraging to hear those positive examples.
2. Errika acknowledges that yes, her body was made for birthing, but it was her mind that made the difference between her two experiences. Errika had a much better understanding of what her body was doing in labor, and she visualized it all, even talking to her body during contractions. Errika feels that's what really made the second experience smoother and quicker.
3. And finally, you don't have to learn every single possible coping technique. In fact, having just a few specific strategies planned to use during the birth can help, so that you know exactly how to prepare and focus.

1. Imagination. Many of you know that I view the world through a biblical lens, and something that's been on my mind for the last few months, and that relates in such a special way to this episode, is the idea of the imagination. Just like Coco shared how she took time to deeply envision her birth experience, and so much of it happened in the way that she'd put thought to. Lately, I've been reflecting on how The Lord uses our imagination for our good and His glory. We were given this ability to imagine-- to see things in our mind-- and it is such a gift. We're called to renew our minds and spirits and to think on whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—using our imagination to renew the mind and think on these things in our day to day life is the stuff of miracles. Use your imagination! Think on your pure, excellent, praiseworthy birth, mama.
2. Next, I want to focus on how, between her first pregnancy and birth and her most recent, Coco learned to lean into her intuition and to truly listen to it. This is what led her to choose to give birth in her own home, and to choose a midwife who truly embodied what that word is supposed to mean-- someone who trusts, believes in physiological birth, and who is there to wisely step in when the time is right. As Coco told this part of the birth story, I pictured these three women, with Coco as the spearhead, along with her two midwives flanking either side. Supporting her, keeping her safe, but always recognizing Coco's lead. That's what this relationship is all about.
3. And finally, a word on integration. Coco's journey from first pregnancy through her most recent birth has been full of ups and downs. Triumph and troubles. And labor is a microcosm of this very experience. I loved her labor depiction. "I am an ocean." Oceans are many things. Mighty, flowing, majestic, serene, cataclysmic, and tranquil. What a wonderful analogy for the process of integration. Taking all of the aspects of her journey thus far-- breaking them down and then building them back up together. Letting it all wash over her in waves. And like waves, the integration of an experience ebbs and flows. It's not all at once. But this ability to take our experience and pull it into our being-- absorbing the meaning and allowing it to transform us-- that is an abundant gift to ourselves and our families alike.

1. Brianna experienced the intensity of labor with her first birth, as her epidural migrated and failed. Because she had expected to HAVE the epidural to cope, she struggled through her active labor and transition. However, what I find amazing is that when she gave birth at home, pain was a non-issue. Simply having coping skills available to her and knowing how to let her body do the work allowed her to experience a FUN, joyful birthing experience.
2. I also loved the way that Brianna invited her daughter, Ella in to her birth experience with her second baby. Ella was able to come in and see her mother give birth to her new baby sister. Brianna mentioned that she hopes her daughter will remember this experience, and I agree. I want to encourage those of you who have young children at your births to remember to tell them the story! Turn it into family lore! My daughter tells me little details about the time that she watched me give birth to her baby sister. "Remember when I tried to get in the pool," she'll say. Now, whether or not she actually fully remembers the event itself or the retelling and retelling of it-- does it really matter? In her mind, it's solidified as a beautiful, joyous strong experience. We have the ability to use storytelling to help our children understand the beauty of birth, whether they fully remember or not. Honestly, whether they're even present or not!

1. Our communities are no longer designed in a way that is supportive to childrearing as a whole, truly. We're extremely silo'd and so unbelievably busy. On top of this, mothers are inundated with the message that they can have it all and they can do it all. They can lose the baby weight, sleep all night, work all day and come home and take care of their home and babies with love and compassion. This just isn't realistic. When we realize that we've been fed a lie, we can slowly begin to untangle ourselves from it, step by step. One of the best first steps that we may be able to make is reconsidering how we view infant sleep, as Taylor shared.
2. The lack of safety in sleeping with our babies comes with not being provided information on how to do it. There is, however, information out there to help you respond to your baby's nighttime needs, while also supporting your ability to get more rest, too. Taylor is doing a phenomenal job of sharing this information.
3. And finally, let's remember that we are our child's regulator. We get to be our child's regulator-- their safe, snuggly, trusted space. If we can approach this with the perspective that this not a curse, but a gift-- we can enjoy these young years, acknowledge that there will sometimes be struggle... there will sometimes be difficulty, give ourselves and our babies grace.

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1. For many in the mainstream, it can be easy to be fooled into the belief that complexity is akin to safety. The hospital system- with its procedures, its protocols, its uniforms and medications- it can provide an, unfortunately, false sense of superiority to simplicity. To allowing our bodies to do exactly what they were designed to do- exactly how they were designed to do it. When we put our trust in a medical complex instead of our own brilliant innate physical intelligence, we almost always leave something beautiful on the table.
2. Next, this very same system... it so frequently minimizes the magnificence of birth. And how can it not? It's a routine. It's a job. The goal is to prevent disaster, not to allow for transformation and beauty. When this is the environment we're in, it can be easy to miss the absolute wonder of what you've just experienced. If you find yourself in a hospital, be sure to remember that even though this is a regular day for your OB or midwife, it's a day of life-change for you. Do not let them downplay the magnificence of what has just happened.
3. And finally, let's end where we began. Birth is a family event. It can involve your little ones, and it can serve as a catalyst to a new way of being together. I always say that birth is magnetic-- may it pull you all together-- never to be separated.